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Quotes

#OMF

  • “You're making my omf-love tickle, heheheh” -Cyphax
  • “Able Learner really should be default on all characters. Cross class skills are some pretty crappy design.” -Ben Sly
  • “i like inertia and sliding” -pharaun
  • “im never playing omf2097 online…ever again. rap cleaned me up” -alastair, #omf
  • “I've said it before, you're history's greatest monster” -Vagabond, #omf
  • “oh wow” -Vagabond, #omf
  • “shit. I missed out on the GPL flaming” -Vagabond, #omf
  • “Originally posted by raptor: Gibberish that saps my will to code” -Vagabond, omf2097.com
  • “I still enjoy newer games, but the first ones had such different character to them, ya know? They were games first, and products * second. Somebody's dreams.” -Nucklear-
  • “wth have i been smoking :/” -Katajakasa, omf
  • “WTF was I smoking when I wrote this code” -Vagabond, omf
  • “raptor trying to manage a database reminds me of a user looking for the 'anykey'” -Vaganbond, #omf
  • “fucking norwegians, and their made up letters” -Vagabond, #omf
  • “you go, girlfriend” -Vagabond
  • “what was I thinking trying to fix all of these strings by hand” -MageKing17, #omf
  • “goddamn you rob elam” -Vagabond, omf
  • “we're truly internet famous. like 6 whole people care about what we do. take that, justin bieber!” -Vagabond, omf
  • “oh holy shit. I fixed the credits?! well that proves I got it right. I am the bestest” -Vagabond, #omf
  • “maybe someday we could meet on Freenode (a free IRC channel that a lot of open source projects are hosted) and make an OMF channel, or get in touch again through MSN, Yahoo, or ICQ messengers or PM's” -FireFly, 12.07.08
  • “no more World Tree for you :)” -bensly88
  • “There's always a place for people who attack everything in front of them, so long as you tell them where that is. Hence why goblins exist :-D” -killer_roach
  • “Look, savage, I am your golden god of computing. I know everything, you know nothing. If words leave my lips regarding computers it is gospel, it is the solid-gold word of Jesus Christ himself.” -pharaun
  • “<bad impression of David Attenborough> 'here we can see how a victorious raptor celebrates his victory over new technology.” -Fracer
  • “Getting a 7 year old to play Ikaruga could be legally considered child abuse in multiple countries.” -Kilo24
  • “ie troll male is good female is no” -Pharaun
  • “OH GOD! I'm turning into you, I just wrote up a 159 line, 1700 word essay to post on blizzard forum regarding audio and accessibility for the deaf players. It has multiple bullet points, multiple paragraph, bunch of additional details and references to stuff, and I even managed to sneak a couple of images into it of various game-play aspects.” -pharaun (friend referring to me)
  • “Procrastinators unite tomorrow!” -Kil24
  • “Are we ignoring the original Diablo? The RPG for people who hate RPG's? The game that invented the prefix\suffix system that so many games imitate even today. The game that introduced addictive item centric gameplay? The RPG with almost no compelling storyline? Diablo invented the hack and slash action RPG subgenre. Before Diablo RPG's were slow paced, usually based on some derivation of strict DnD rules, had intricate plots and character development… Diablo took RPGs into a wholly different direction. So much so that most DnD plot driven RPG lovers will not even wish to recognize Diablo as belonging to the genre.” -Endy, omf-f
  • “throw a jaguar on the pyros, I'll be back for dinner” -Vagabond

OMF Manual

  • “A good story is everything. Sometimes the truth just doesn't make a good movie.” - R. Nixon“,
  • “To be a good captain, you'd better know how to steer.” - Captain Hazelwood”,
  • “In the end, the one with the biggest gun wins.” - General Custard“,
  • “It's not whether you win or… Okay, maybe it is…” - A. Hitler”,
  • “640k should be enough for anybody.” - B. Gates“,
  • “Anything that can go wrong, will…” - Borland's Law”,
  • “Just don't forget the part I played in all this!” - What's his name“,
  • “After World War III, the only thing left will be roaches and lawyers.” - Ask Anybody”,
  • “Tuna fish! We're out of tuna fish!” -Rob Elam“,
  • “Those aren't compiler warnings, they're SUGGESTIONS.” -Rob Elam”,
  • “I fixed that at 4:30 this morning.” -Rob Elam“,
  • “We'll have you that beta version by tomorrow.” -Ryan Elam”,
  • “If I slap these two spoons together, then lower the sampling rate, it sounds just like…” -Ryan Elam“,
  • “Well, it worked on the Gravis…” -Josh Jensen”,
  • “Well, it worked on the Sound Blaster…” -Josh Jensen“,
  • “Well, it worked on my machine…” -Josh Jensen”,
  • “Don't try that yet!” -Josh Jensen“,
  • “Cool!” - John Gary”,
  • “Where's my version?!” - Mackey McCandlish“,
  • “No pictures, please.” - Hans Watson”,
  • “Can I get a better joystick?” - Stephen Caudill“,
  • “TMOD Technology Dude” - Steven Slawin”,
  • “Ryan, get to bed!” - Shawndy Elam“

OMF Forum

  • “Maybe the game will also grant eternal life and supermodels to all geek-kind.” -Rob Elam”,
  • “Apples VS. Oranges! Apples are superior, anyone who disagrees is an idiot.” -Rob Elam“,
  • “we're not in software rendering land anymore.” -Rob Elam”,
  • “…of all the commercial games I've ever worked on, this is definitly the second” -Rob Elam“,
  • “If it aint tested, it doesnt work.” -Rob Elam”,
  • “Hence, I rule.” -Saul Botcher“,
  • “You people are seriously weird!” -Saul Botcher”,
  • “Hehe! Yeah, that's a bit embarassing, sorry. :^P” -Saul Botcher“,
  • “*BETA TESTING FOR MB MEMBERS* Bet that topic got your attention, eh?” -Saul_Bottcher”,
  • “I think, and I might be mistaken… but I think there just might be a new update in the news section” -John Durden“,
  • “Imagine what we could do, if we could do what we imagine” -John Durden”,
  • “Hack The Planet” -John Durden“,
  • “only the freakish survive” -John Durden”,
  • “hJon urDned, rvDiesosin trenEtinaenmt” -John Durden“,
  • “One Must Fall: Battlegrounds – We're very very sorry” -John Durden”,
  • “Naturally flavored Fruitopia, 100% Vitamin C per serving” -John Durden“,
  • “Technical Sleep Coordinator” -Kevin Byrd”,
  • “I will probably have to delete the above post hehehehehehe…….” -Kevin Byrd“,
  • “your gonna love this hehehe” *closed thread* -Kevin Byrd”,
  • “Fluxing those capacitors like its going out of style!” -Kevin Byrd“,
  • “Lead Squirrel Throttler!” -Kevin Byrd”,
  • “If we're still beta testing in 6 months then the game deserves to be leaked!” -Kevin Byrd (May 1, 2002)“,
  • “OH YOUR GOD! omf2097” -DosAscii”,
  • “DosAscii slaps Raptor around with a small 50lb Unix Manual” -DosAscii“,
  • “ruddy heck mate, i'll trasnlate that bugger to [au]stralian!” -DosAscii”,
  • “The worst movie ever is the Piranah Women From The Avacado Jungle of Death! Or else just the song by Christine Lavin about said movie…” -mindofme“,
  • “I'm really more of a hippy.” -mindofme”,
  • “hehehe only you could connect DND and OMF!” -mindofme“,
  • “Oh dear….heaven forbid if you get a girl…. :)” -mindofme”,
  • “heheh yeah…but he's raptor..he sticks to no schedule!” -mindofme“,
  • “Früvous, Physics, Books, other Music, OMF, RPG's…Life IS good.” -mindofme”,
  • “bah, any one in their right mind would F10 as soon as they see the nova with YOU piloting” -mindofme to raptor“,
  • “Our Hapless Avatar” -ElectricPoweredShock”,
  • “Please don't spam” -ElectricPoweredShock“,
  • “A Life? Cool! Where can I download one of those from?” -Onslaught”,
  • “It said: 'Insert disk 3…” but only 2 fit in the drive.“ -Onslaught”,
  • “If you make something idiot proof they'll invent better idiots” -Onslaught“,
  • “OMF BG: Coming Eventually” -Arson”,
  • “i am finally turning 13” -The Arson (19)“,
  • “i dont read long threads” -The Arson”,
  • “OMF: more twisted metal than twisted metal” -Arson“,
  • “hehehe…talking smack before the game even comes out” -The Arson”,
  • “no beta test for me…my poor self doesnt have enough money for 3d card….christmas shopping sucks…and so do speeding tickets” -The Arson“,
  • “my cpu = overglorified cd player.” -Arson”,
  • “i am 'ignored” -Arson“,
  • “after backtracking….felix katz revived this thread. now he shall die” -Arson”,
  • “what is a joke?” -Arson“,
  • “i haven't seen this many closed threads in one week since the days of sexual chocolate” -Arson”,
  • “if i were to spend 5 years of my life producing a game, then one person bought it and a thousand people downloaded it for free….well consider each pirate download one kick in the nuts.” -Arson“,
  • “well the swear filter probbaly wouldnt pick it up, but i better not say it” -Arson”,
  • “i remember someone made a character of me and kept killing it, i thought it was funny” -Arson“,
  • “whats the point of having 3000 posts if they all say 'lol” and 'yeah dude good idea'” -Arson“,
  • “Mogusha, the Druid” -Mogusha”,
  • “… when have we been discusing about OMF? ……. oh.. you mean those small minority of threads.” -Mogusha“,
  • “Yeah, but for some of us the newbie phase was 5 years ago…” -Robyrt”,
  • “it's hard to ignore a close-thread request when the only person posting double-posts to get it closed.” -Robyrt“,
  • “The year is 2117. You control a 30-meter robot in the future's biggest mega-sport. The only rule: One must fall.” -Robyrt”,
  • “BG doesn't need much of a story, but it DOES need an excuse for one.” -Robyrt“,
  • “Welcome to Rivendell, Mister Anderson.- -robyrt”,
  • ”[useless post for the week] You know what else annoys me? People who make gigantic quotes for no reason.“ -robyrt”,
  • “Oops Saul did it again” -X-Bot“,
  • “ok.. i'm gonna try joining the clan for the fourth time…” -X-Bot”,
  • “The lazy bastard called syrion did something!” -Syrion“,
  • “Well… anyone may join, unless they follow the rules.” -Syrion”,
  • “Leading Dork” -Syrion“,
  • “I'm not a geek…yet!!!” -LoneWolf”,
  • “BEHOLD THE POWER OF THE SPOON!!!” -LoneWolf“,
  • ”…what tha…MECHWARRIOR GETS CENSORED???“ -LoneWolf”,
  • “I must be getting tolerant from exposure to the board…WHAT'S HAPPENING TO ME!!!” -LoneWolf“,
  • “did you hear about the HAR pilot who complained to his techs, 'There's a Thorn in my side?'” -LoneWolf”,
  • “by your scale, it was one of the best computers on the planet.” -LoneWolf (to raptor)“,
  • “I'm 30 years away from being 18 years old.” -FelixKatz”,
  • “O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!” -FelixKatz“,
  • “Translated software - All your base are belong to us” -FelixKatz”,
  • “This is definately a young crowd. On the other hand, next February I will turn 50.” -FelixKatz“,
  • “For those who missed it the last time , the location of the DE offices is: N30 12” 18'” W85 49“ 41'” '-FelixCatz“,
  • “this 286 CPU is just so small and cute” -Koleman”,
  • “that's it. I'm not playing bg2 with you!” -Koleman“,
  • “It's so oldschool, i almost cry.” -Koleman”,
  • DNS error my ass, THAT computer is RIGHT NEXT TO ME!” -Koleman“,
  • “I couldn't think of anything stupid, so I put something dumb instead.” - [peer]”,
  • “Well, that ruled. What function key do I press to get that to happen again?” - [peer]“,
  • “Have you got anything without spam? Oh, the spam, eggs, sausage and spam. That's not got much spam in it. I don't want ANY spam!” - [peer]”,
  • “I'm sorry, but 'private parts dealer” just cracks me up for some reason.“ -[peer]”,
  • “Beat me up! I used to post as [peer]” -Khavo“,
  • ”[peer], get your head above the waistline!“ -Slasher”,
  • “I'm not crazy, I'm sanity-challanged.” -Slasher“,
  • “I want a third nipple…” -Malfrex”,
  • “Raptor: You border more on apathy.” -killer_roach“,
  • “very long, very convoluted, very stupid. We don't want that.” -killer_roach”,
  • “What am I to do when the person most likely to complain is the one posting it?” -killer_roach“,
  • “* raptor were kicked by killer_roach (You asked for it… no, really, you did.)” -killer_roach”,
  • “no drugs, no cigs, no… well, to quote Meat Loaf, two out of three ain't bad…” -killer_roach“,
  • “Beta 1 testers were told once that we would be able to get the beta 'tomorrow'. That 'tomorrow” was two weeks…” -killer_roach“,
  • “I'm gonna take some more hard-lined shots here to try to talk some sense into LoneWolf (it hasn't happened yet, but here's to hoping…)” -killer_roach”,
  • “Morphine is good for the soul.” -Dead-Eye“,
  • “One Must Fall: BattleGrounds. A whole new viewpoint on total destruction.” -Dead-Eye”,
  • “Calling Diablo an RPG is like calling Space Invaders an Earth-defense simulation.” - Dead-Eye“,
  • “NASA's already invented the Ion Engine… granted, it goes from 1 to 100mph in about a week, but it can keep accelerating for months… after a while, you end up going very fast…” -Dead-Eye”,
  • “Sweet mother of everything good and holy! look at those graphics!” -J Cat“,
  • “I can build a spaceship out of a pencil and a donut, I just can't figure out how to get it to work” -J Cat”,
  • “im not telling u again” -cardinalm7“,
  • ”(im hyper at the moment)“ -cardinalm7”,
  • “Why hasn't it closed yet?” -cardinalm7“,
  • “What? No scale fetish?” -Heretic”,
  • “For all of you newcomers, welcome to the 'my HAR can beat up your HAR” thread.“ -Heretic”,
  • “Maybe I can't hurt you, but I can make a desk out of you” -Heretic“,
  • “Good, Bad. I'm The Guy With The Gun.” -Shadow”,
  • “my parents still dont understand what gaming is all about!” -Shadow“,
  • “By the power of Greyskull!” -Alexander de Large”,
  • “Jesus saves. Everyone else rolls for damage with a D20.” -Alexander de Large“,
  • “I lent my 'hope” to joe_larceny in exchange for a bottle of whiskey.” -Alexander de Large“,
  • “If you're in charge of making sure that OMF:BG gets released 'on time” (if I understood that correctly), then you have my deepest and most sincere condolences in advance.” -Alexander de Large“,
  • “Notice to everyone: please do not diss raptor, he is one of the coolest people here plus he knows how to use guns way better than you do.” -Alexander de Large”,
  • “WHAT??!? IS BG A PC GAME!??!??!?!” -Peanut“,
  • “so there you have it. this is me once again proving that i have absoloutely no ability whatsoever to stay on topic.” -Peanut”,
  • “A man without a religion is like a fish without a bicycle.” -Peanut“,
  • “Well, I don't have any mental problems yet, but I figure a few more weeks on this MB oughta do the trick” -Spockmeat”,
  • “welcome to insanity incarnate” -Spockmeat“,
  • “you're all insane” -Spockmeat (to Crusher, Eps, raptor, viper)”,
  • “No, that avatar is rather recent (in Raptor terms, that is).” -FlamingMonkey“,
  • “Any more propaganda to quote?” -FlamingMonkey”,
  • “The Farmer Will Let You Cross This Field For Free, But The Bull Will Charge.” -mordax“,
  • “Please do not throw rocks at this sign” -Mordax”,
  • “Relevant topics are few and far in between here it seems… so you better get used to it.” -Cyberfrog“,
  • “I croak, therefore I am.” -Cyberfrog”,
  • “2D is SOOOO 2097… puhlease…” -PhreakyByNature“,
  • “One Must stop making crap jokes.” -PhreakyByNature”,
  • “Well that triple post wasn't intended… hmmm….. *confuzzlation*” -PhreakyByNature“,
  • “Nothing beats 2097…” -Nexxyz”,
  • “All people are different from each other. I'm the only exeption.” -Nexxyz“,
  • “raptor rocked…” -nexxyz”,
  • “If loving Jaguar is wrong…then I don't wanna be right…'-jag-freak”,
  • “I still can't figure out how to draw a cow-monkey(don't ask).” -jag-freak“,
  • “These english birds are thoroughly fucked up.. they sing at night. AT NIGHT. not during the day as much as during the night. IDIOTS.” -Amnipotent”,
  • “good morning, go to sleep” -Amnipotent“,
  • “Cheating is the lowest form of cowardice.” -cheatman007”,
  • “Any significantly developed bug is indistinguishable from a feature.” -cheatman007“,
  • “Panic is when you wake up screaming only to realize you were never asleep.” -ElSmisko”,
  • “This must be the fastest message-board on the 'net… this response only took 6 minutes… ^_^” -ElSmisko“,
  • ”…kiss the curse away…“ -Icewing”,
  • “\m/ o_0 \m/ r0xx0rz” -Icewing“,
  • “I just come to this board to vent my immaturity.” -Icewing”,
  • “raptor you are a freak of nature.” -Firebird“,
  • “I am so happy, i could shit a kitten” -Firebird”,
  • “It's been proven that no one on this board can take a joke.” -Endy“,
  • “I wanna spam!” -NovaWorm”,
  • “let it be and let it respawn.” -jon5“,
  • “I am not immune to stupidity.” -Pyronius”,
  • “raptor, you're too strange for my own good” -Oak“,
  • “Never trust a computer you can't throw out a window.” -Steve Wozniak” -Destruction Lover“,
  • “win311 doesn't support worms :D” -Cyphax”,
  • “all expectatians and enthusiasm were met by equal and porportionate crafty sense of detail and orc slaying passion” -shadowgoblin“,
  • “Hmz… anyway I always hated mathemathics.” -Lord UltraMaximus”,
  • “You kill some lamers and others spawn, sure is feeling good though to make them scream in agony before they die.” -Ori Klein“,
  • “One Must Do Something Useful (Every Once In A While)” -1nfern0”,
  • “Hey dont delete my post this time Robyrt…” -nickus“,
  • “If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens? - Seymour Cray” -Fire gryphon”,
  • “The things you will regret the most, are the chances you did not take.” -1nfern0“,
  • “evin yrd s he nemy” -CrazyAxeManiac”,
  • “so im gana give the game one more shit” -Hawki_ice“,
  • “Featuring a 'Really Big Gun'” -54x”,
  • “now i want some of that shit that ur smoking ;)” -Iwishi“,
  • “When you can't have reality, settle for virtuality.” -Aqua”,
  • “How appropriate. You fight like a cow.” -Spazmo“,
  • “I will love omf forever!” -Viper”,
  • “Dosshell is the best version of Windoze” -stone101“,
  • “hopefully de will answer… or just add to the confuseing rant” -Homelessman”,
  • “One Must Fall: Battlegrounds - Let the chaos continue.- -jackrabbit”,
  • “Um… I just did something really stupid…” -Gandalf X“,
  • “We all have been newbies” -JelZe”,
  • “Ok, back to reality.” -Tibby35“,
  • “mega extreme psychotic craziness schizophrenic paranoia” -TwistedSanity666”,
  • “If I knew, I'd tell you. But I don't, so I won't.” -DarkDragon“,
  • “Just because you're here doesn't mean we don't hate you.” - DeViAtE”,
  • “RN, you're not useless, we could use you for a beachball or something.” -RN2048“,
  • “Yes, I did put a nova HAR on my birthday cake when I was 8 or so.” -Geek_Supreme”,
  • “I am ruler of the world. Everyone else is just a rebel.” -topace16“,
  • “THE Nova, nothing less, nothing more, nothing else.” -Ori Klein”,
  • “Massively Multiplayer Online Pub Brawl” -Rez.“,
  • “raptor your site rocks heh” -Xaronth”,
  • “2 years waiting, 2 mins playing, 2 seconds deleting” -mildew (He repented)“,
  • “Wow! DE spam!” -AnubisOMF”,
  • “Will your game feature Optimus Prime?” -Obviously“,
  • “so, when is this new game going to come out?” -Sanity1a”,
  • “theyre all ugly except christian, shes a babe” -Magnifico“,
  • “mommie chan u ghet meh teh nuw wun mustard falls?” -Godzuki”,
  • “I am eagerly awaiting for my fifth nipple to show up.” -Mrguytodd“,
  • “You're not getting the point.” -Saiyaman”,
  • “You make little sense, o senseless one.” -Raven“,
  • LOL who the [filtered] rated this thread 1 star? Seriously do you guys just rate all my posts 1 star to piss me off, because it's working…” -Endy Lendari”,
  • “who said skill makes it fun” -Godzuki“,
  • “people were calling me a newb. i liked it.” -Player”,
  • “If you're going through Hell, keep going.” -Grover Cleveland. (Mods, leave it alone.) -Raven“,
  • ”<bad impression of David Attenborough> 'here we can see how a victorious raptor celebrates his victory over new technology.'“ -Fracer”,
  • “You should get a job on a helpdesk fracer, you've got talent” -MrSiezen, 'I'm liable to shoot you for that“ -FraceR”,
  • “i was looking at that archived board, omfg. i didn't use ANY capitalization. i used all short forms it looked like i was 12! of course, i was close at the time… heheh” -Vuen“,
  • “I'm sooooo stupid” -Viper, 'Quoted!” -raptor“,
  • “Things aren't bad now…but some of the magic is gone.” -Alfie”,
  • “y did i say that? raptor u suck, u made me say i wanna go2 france” -Stone“,
  • “I see geeks” -Hades”,
  • “I think FireFly is the sanest of us all… seriously… except for maybe raptor…” -Ghoul“,
  • “It's a fact: There is no situation or problem in life that cannot be handled by the wisdom of a combination of quotes taken from 'The Simpsons” and 'The Princess Bride.'” -Icewing“,
  • “THAT Raptor?!?! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! *runs screaming for the hills*” -X-Bot”,
  • “well, for the record, as bad as Drgonlover64's grammar is, he's not Raptor.” -Lonewolf“,
  • “Raptor is one of the OMFMB veterans, he's still around occasionally, his english is as bad as ever too.” -Raven”,
  • “A wise man speaks because he has something to say. A fool speaks because he has to say something.” -Quoted by Endy“,
  • “them barbarians got teleportation tech” -PsychoFarmer”,
  • “oh -_-” even Rap starts being faster then me….:S“ -EGM”,
  • “this winme is very interesting os” -Koleman“,
  • “girls are like internet domains, the ones you like are already taken” -Koleman”,
  • “It's always true and you know it. I want DOS back.” -FlamingMonkey“,
  • “I love the fact you'll remove all functionality and do the stupidest things to defend something…. i love OMFers” -PhreakyByNature”,
  • “You are nucking futz, really.” -Raven (once more to me)“,
  • “Maybe if I change my avatar to Brad Pitt I'll get more PMs!” -mrguytodd”,
  • “Oh powerful mods, in who'se hands the ability to close a thread resides, please euthanise this one, it seems to have lived an unhappy life.” -LoneWolf“,
  • “kernel panic on boot floppy” -raptor, 'ratpor, you're up deep shit. :)” -howl“,
  • “oh duh.. It upgrades the Limited test.. of course.. I thought it was the Beta patch…. ←-is a moron” -Lita”,
  • “It's Just Odd When Somone Is Weirder Than Me…” -Ghoul“,
  • “muppets- manamana…. i'm screwed :p” -FraceR”,
  • “So Robyrt's as much of a gasbag curmudgeon as I am… heh…” -Killer_roach“,
  • “ouch. even I make typos in these” -Robyrt”,
  • “Canada - the land of the free, home of the brave (but severly under armed).” -Malfrex“,
  • “When your naval forces consist of leaky subs bought from the Soviets, your ground forces are using technology slightly above what was used in Vietnam, and our air forces consist of Canadian Geese, I think its a safe description of our armed forces.” -Malfrex”,
  • “most guys 'need a girl', i need a DM …. disturbing thought…” -raptor“,
  • “Hissing like an astmatic brontosaurus in the mating season” -fracer”,
  • “You shall play OMF:2097. You shall enjoy the bliss of that which is OMF:2097. You shall slip from the face of the Earth while you motal mind wrestles with the beauty that is OMF:2097………” -Spockmeat“,
  • “null modem for life :P” -X-Bot”,
  • “I'm speciak :)” -Malfrex“,
  • “Chasm? Why don't you just hijack a plane and crash it into my computer!” -FlamingMonkey (about Dantes chasm)”,
  • “Ever wondered why the God-awful Final Fantasy games have become so popular? They are interactive soap operas which cater to the casual gamer's every whim. That's why.” -Longinus“,
  • “The maintenance of, and this entire message board as a PHP product sucks. I've *made* forums more stable than this damn thing.” -Raven”,
  • “Also, thanks everyone for making this the only popular thread I ever started” -InfernoDragon“,
  • “In my many atempts at philosphy, i have come to the concusion that no human without any physical damages to brain is any more inteligent or dumber that another. but when i look around me i somehow feel that every single mother in this country/world have dropped their kids on the floor at young ages.” -raptor”,
  • “Conclusion: We're all freaks.” -Heretic“,
  • “If I was an adverage girl, I would NEVER come near ANY of you guys.” -Aqua”,
  • “fucking piking crappy load of a bariaurs goaty rear-openings exert! ill whipp this thing around with a cutters piking eyeballs until it wheep to go down the gutter!” -raptor about firefox“,
  • “Welcome to our newest member, Ori_Klein” -omf.com”,
  • “2d games dont make use of heavy 3dcard stuff, wich means that your glorified geforce 5800 is basically just a damn exspencive SVGA card :P” -raptor“,
  • “My philosophy: no matter how large disc you buy, its getting full, the smaller disc you have the easier and faster it is to back it up.” -raptor”,
  • “I think raptor, me, flamincows, spockmeat, and zelig are the only normal ones here, the rest of you have some sort of retarded disorder” -Firefly“,
  • “You are king of nerd rappy boy” -Mindofme”,
  • “COMPUTER USAGE RESTRAINED BY MOTHER…” -Dirtbag“,
  • “*Pulls out a list and crosses something off it.* … That's another sign of the apocalypse.” -TheCyberChrist (about raptor getting NDS)”,
  • “my my, rappie have you finaly bought a game that's been made younger then 2 years, my my, I suppose we'll have to ready some carrots sugar and water for the horses of the four knights of apocalypse…” -Dirtbag“,
  • “There are 5 annonymous users on right now. [filtered]! Register. Don't you want to tell me how much I suck?” -Endy Lendari”,
  • “There's 4 signs of the apocalypse right ? raptor getting a ds, malf posting, oak not flaming…. oh shit” -FraceR“,
  • “I'd swear, but I'm on my fourth 'last chance” from about every moderator for filter evasion.” -FlamingMonkey“,
  • “raptor trying to manage a database reminds me of a user looking for the 'anykey'” -Vaganbond, #omf”,
  • “fucking norwegians, and their made up letters” -Vagabond, #omf“

OMF Long

joneirik: I'm not exactly famous for beeing up to date, now am I ?!
Haoshiro: you have a point
FraceR: you know what sucks about being a cynic?
FraceR: Being tight so friggin often
FraceR: *right
joneirik: Yeah being tight is a common problem for cynics :p
FraceR: arse
joneirik: I'm so quoting this
FraceR: new hardware for the dinosaur? oh dear
FraceR: could you find the 'ON' switch? it's not one of those huge pull down ones you know
FraceR: :p
joneirik: I worked so hard today I could sleep on the spot
joneirik: I'm mostly just procastrating
joneirik: or hwo the fuck i spelled that word again
FraceR: procrastinating
FraceR: procastrating sounds like your all for castrating people
FraceR: as in removing their reproductive organs
joneirik: ….. sounds good to me !
FraceR: me 2 actually
joneirik: Heck, even better
FraceR: but that's going in the book of best spelling mistakes ever
Katajakasa: http://pastebin.ca/Lr9rpKaK → pw “openomf”
joneirik: Sorry, this paste is encrypted. You will need to provide a password to view it. You will only need to enter this password once per session, or if you are logged in, once after each login.
Katajakasa: → pw “openomf”
joneirik: oh my bad, I seemingly forgot to read, pardon my bad eyes and brain
“I will btw forever taunt you for getting hit by a gargoyle heavy kick” -raptor
“and you should, there's no excuse” -TMM
Vagabond: yes
Vagabond: please make that
Vagabond: please, please make that
Kilo24: There's a big difference between “I can switch to another spec” and “I'm fully capable in another spec” when grinded gear gets involved.
joneirik: Well since we're first in dream land, where I can make unicorns and rainbows appear, since I can obviously talk about a game the way I want it, fuck gear grind :p
joneirik: JonEirik Fantasy 1: Fuck Gear Grind
Kilo24: “Fuck Gear Grind: The Game” :)
joneirik: Buy it now
Kilo24: I like that the time stamps on our comments are within 1 sec of eachother. :)
Kilo24: Well, it is “power creep” initially as you keep leveling. That constant sense of progress is a good stick to tempt new players with. But the endgame target of a full and fully upgraded mod setup is well-defined.
Kilo24: *carrot, not stick
pharaun: the sword women. yes. she's boring. terrible MC. i liked the guy more. actually. basically. ZZZZzzzzz
joneirik: Wow… I'm going to have to printscreen this moment, and pester you with it forever, you prefer a MALE MC over a female!
True Story.. I am the final boss in this game. I was friends with Rob when he was creating it and helped with the playtesting. The final boss was named Hans Kriesacker. The Hans part came from my name and the Kriessacker part was a loose anagram of ass kicker.
I have since lost touch with him but am proud that I got to be part of such a cool game. The one thing I remember most from the development was how he always stressed that the responsiveness of the controls had to be just right. At the time controls for PC games tended to be sluggish and couldn't compete with arcade games. He wanted to change that. While the game had good graphics for its time I think it is the controls and playability that has let it be so fondly remembered.
-hanswatson, reddit

GuildWars2

  • “GW2 is a MSOFGG: Mass Singleplayer Online Fashion Grinding Game” -me
  • “Also, watching the gw2 discord is really killing my desire to touch the game, it's like watching a convention for accountants, discussing the most efficient way to design spreadsheets…” -joneirik
  • “The June 23, 2015 patch” -Pas de Seul
  • “16/03/15 when stability was changed ”
  • “Unfortunately Anet in it's lack of wisdom didn't balance for WvW, a lot of the skills used now are just activate and run your zerg at the enemy. It's a lot like Jurassic Park. 'Your scientists (Devs) were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn't stop to think if they should.'” -serious.9730 gw2f
  • “That's… not really what 'replayability' means. What this suggests is 'artificially extended gameplay', often referred to as 'endgame content'.”
  • “When did GW2 turn into a grindfest?” “When you stopped caring about what you were doing and focused on what you were getting.” -Trise.2865 gw2f
  • “Well, I mean this is the official forums where the most common post is a hyperbolic rant by someone running a useless build dying to something “OP” because they didn't map their dodge key or making angry frog noises about being kicked from squad. This is on top of a player base that treats self-improvement like the plague. It's not exactly the best place to go for the latest in the meta.” -ArchonWing.9480 gw2f
  • “GW2 isnt an RPG. Its a rollercoaster ride where you sit quietly and take scenic pictures between drops.” -Dawdler.8521 gw2f
  • “The average Gw2 player is a potato and shouldn't really be a standard for anything. This is a result of the ability to be carried through most content without knowing anything.” -ArchonWing.9480 gw2f
  • “The meta is currently defined by being the laziest way to succeed to a small degree because winning doesn't mean anything. If there was actually competition and you needed to pivot to handle lots of situations good rangers would be just as much a needed commodity, and the only thing stopping them from getting used is laziness/lack of motivation. Some of that is on Anet, some of that is on us. But it's not on the class balance.” -God.2708 gw2f
  • “If they made gw2 turn based it would be ok, maybe.” -Justine.6351, gw2f (merging na/eu)
  • “Americans stop counting their hours at 12 so I dont trust they have any idea how many timezones they have.” -Dawdler.8521, gw2f
  • “I hide all visual clutter by uninstalling the game.” -SexyMofo.8923, gw2f
  • “After reading all 10 pages again, I now have some understanding of why the Dev’s could make such poor decisions. You folks have really no clue what you want and it shows in what you ask for.” -DeWolfe.2174 gw2f
  • “What's everyone's favorite idea for cool match-up rewards?” -Josh Davis.7865 ArenaNet Staff, gw2f
  • “The many different servers seperating people who just want to WvW together” -medivh.4725, gw2f
  • “I never get to see what it is I am fighting or what I have killed. As far as I'm concerned all enemy in the game are flashing multi coloured balls of light. That could be the reason I find combat unsatisfying in GW2. Do they actually play their own game?” -Follyfoot.2803 gw2f
  • “The only way to lose WvW is to get caught up in trying to win it.” -Letoll.3782, gw2f
  • “ive had harder story instances in ff than gw2 raids” -Niko, gw2d
  • “Anet can't win. And we asked for this. We wanted trivial, non-challenging activities and we will be rewarded as such.” -borgs.6103 gw2f
  • “need living season set in eotm. =p” -Sovereign.1093 gw2f
  • “Always keep in mind that GW2 is a single player MMO.” -Blocki.4931, gw2f
  • “Now, if you want to be truly brainless in the expansion zones, there's only one solution: reroll to necromancer or ranger.” -Bobzitto.8571, gw2f
  • “Edit: kitten= late 1940s German leader, which is apparently considered a bad word. Not as if his name could ever be used in an educational, or informative nature, not just used to belittle someone.” -Klowdy.3126 gw2f
  • “I always figured if I get trash-talked after I murder someone, it's just a Tsundere-plane trying to convey their real feelings. Unfortunately just before I ask them out, they must've been too embarrassed to read my reply so they block me before I got the chance… Sigh” -TwiceDead.1963 gw2f
  • “My vote would be to make WvW turn based, so only 1 persons skills have to register at a time. Lag problem solved.” -Bort.8647 gw2f
  • “As to 'sense of accomplishment' … this is a video game. The idea that someone somehow “needs” a sense of accomplishment from doing things in such games is one of the poster children for modern society's struggle with nihilism.” -IndigoSundown.5419, gw2f
  • “people move on, either in life or to WoW” -Randulf.7614, gw2f
  • “Generally what we see is, the more you are into anything, like if you're into World vs World, typically you're really into PvE.” -Mike O'Brien, ANet
  • People are such a genetic mistake… I know, emotions and all that stuff. -gonzi.7605 gw2f
  • “Wait… Do the devs actually care about what we write?” -Jeknar “Belief in an intangible force watching over you that cares and will influence your existence is fairly common in human society, despite all evidence to the contrary” -Letoll, gw2f
  • “It's filthy casual heaven. I'm one. Finest filthy casual poison in the MMO galaxy, right now. And yes that means fashion wars, for me. It's great! Hollow pleasure, just as nature intended MMOs to be.” -Goettel.4389 gw2f
  • “So, basically, against large enough groups of people, difficulty just collapses. Except when you tie strict defiance bar breaking mechanics to group success, in which cases the event becomes impossible for such large zergs (hello, serpent's ire).” -Skotlex.7580 gw2f
  • “Whispered to my spouse, 'Please stop killing us and being in the camp. I need my dailies.' WvW 101. No. It is mine. Also there are three other maps to choose from.” -Squeak.7093, gw2f
  • “Choice is nice. It's not like we're forced into putting distasteful glittershit on. The eye-cancering, infusion-riddled, scarf-wearing, winged, slutty human female clowns look like that because they wanted to look like clowns.” -Warframe reddit on GW2 fashion
  • “WvW is a karma train map like Orr used to be… If you go to WvW to kill players, just about everyone will remind you that you're destroying WvW and not playing the mode properly.” -sephiroth.4217, gw2f
  • “Anet's mistake was listening to a player base of quitters.” -shiri.4257 gw2f
  • “Overconfidence is a slow and insidious killer. Australia lost a war to emus…just sayin” -Jethro.9376, gw2f
  • “To me, Skritt have always felt like a metaphor for the playerbase. They mean well, but aren't too bright individually, spend large amounts of time chasing after silly things, have a very short attention span, sometimes fly off the handle and, of course, are obsessed with shinies. That said, they also have good hearts, help eachother and, when they come together, can accomplish amazing things. I see a lot of myself there” -ArjhanAkmenos, gw2r
  • “Just logged in after a while and went to the Mistlock Sanctuary,i thought it was Wintersday already.Not only that almost everyone looked like a Christmas tree but there wasn't even much diversity,almost everyone has that black and blue infusion stuff. The game looks like a flashlight pressed against your eyeball. The new birthday armours look amazing,simple and kitten.I don't say that there shouldn't be flashiness in the game since different people like different things but this is just over the top.I wish Guildwars 2 had the armour design from BDO or FF14,even Lineage 2 not the armor design from a low budget asian mmorpg.Sometimes less is more.” -Nury.3062, gw2f
  • “Stop stacking server. Problem solved.” -SkyShroud.2865,gw2f “The only way to do that is to get rid of the players.” -starlinvf.1358,gw2f
  • “The gw story bosses are all very easy compared to real single player games. If people die a lot in monster hunter they watch a guide for the monster or how a weapon works. In GW2 they just want the content to get nerfed so they don't have to adapt.” -Nephalem.8921, gw2f
  • “You need to start trying to start improving.” -SkyShroud.2865, gw2f
  • “2012 GW2 had literally 4 things that required fixing. Right now… it's PAGES.” -Hollywood.3490, gw2f
  • “If you want good PVP then drop MMORPGs. Even in WoW PVP is struggling compared to PVE. All producers know that money is in PVE. I think that sooner or later there won't be any PVP in MMORPGs, just PVE. Let's assume that there are ~15 000 players focused on PVP in GW2 - it is nothing compared to those focused on PVE.” -hash.6287, gw2f
  • ”(Trinity) It was a decent system for the time, but the only reason why it became so popular is because WoW ruined MMOs for a generation.“ -Blood Red Arachnid.2493, gw2f
  • “It's kind of sad how MMORPGs went from DND based sandbox games to theme park grind time sinks.” -YoukiNeko.6047, gw2f
  • “Their best 'game' would be remaking GW1 with the unreal engine 4, improved gw2 combat and Normal Mode of the open world not being instanced (Hard Mode would still be instanced for farming purposes). That would be the best thing that could come out from this dev by a long shot.” -Nuka Cola.8520, gw2f
  • “But GW2 is fine in its own way. It's an MMO single player game until you want to do fractals, dungeons, metas, or raids. It doesn't force socialization on you even in group play modes. All you have to do is stay alive and DPS. You repeat those 2 tasks and no one will complain. You fail at either, and you will be called out.” -Nate.8146, gw2f
  • “Lol, I made the last post on this. What I learned is that you need to get it out of your head that WvW is a competitive mode. It is just glorified pve that pver's like to min-max in and only fight when they have numbers on their side. What we really need is a true roamer game mode. No teams, no coordination, just 1v1v1v1v1*x. Even then they'd find a way to blob on you. Just let it go, it's a losing fight.” -eley crey.2905, gw2f
  • “It was supposed to be epic scale combat that would put players in the boots of a soldier in a massive fantasy warscape, like stepping into The Battle for Helms Deep or The Five Armies. Instead we get this game mode that looks like a grade school cafeteria fight; two groups of gangly awkward bodies windmilling their arms around and winging lunch trays into the distance with their eyes closed hoping in the blind chaos their flailing connects with something.” -Conncept.7638, gw2f
  • “I think the forum is funny place to visit in between reading relevant discussions on reddit.” -Kheldorn.5123, gw2f
  • “Guild Wars 2 as of this moment has 1402 clickable skills. And this excludes skills that change in effect when certain traits are chosen. Guild Wars 1 has a total of 1319 clickable skills.” -maddoctor.2738, gw2f
  • “This change seems like it's being made to make WvW more 'competitive', which is a bit like trying to make a triangle into a three-sided square. WvW is played with three teams, with very large team sizes and 24/7 uptime. None of those design aspects are the design aspects of a competitive game. This isn't a matter of failing to live up to a competitive standard, either. The fundamentals of WvW are those of a much more sandbox styled game.” -Coldtart.4785, gw2f
  • “Another to consider is how you handle personal motivation. This is extremely relaxed when it comes to “end game”, and gives you a bunch of activities, but no solid dictation as to what you should be doing. Many players out of the WoW crowd, and its clones, have trouble with this concept, since WoW's archetype is a reward treadmill at its core. Players who have weak self-initiative tend to get lost easily in this situation, and that turns into frustration as the rewards aren't modulated on a schedule, but rather sharp increases in investment effort.” -starlinvf.1358, gw2f
  • “GW2 should be called D&D - Dragons & Dramas” -Kheldorn.5123, gw2f
  • “The only issue with a Dervish class is that the entire theme of a Dervish is that they evoke the power of human gods. So for other races besides humans, it wouldn't fit so well. Asura believe in the Eternal Alchemy, Sylvari in the Dream or Nightmare, Norns in the spirits, and Charr… well, I think they believe in killing stuff that annoys them so yeah.” -Tenrai Senshi.2017, gw2f
  • “My solution : Disable all Elite specs for PVP/WvW. Disable all amulets or reduce by a metric eff ton. (300/200 instead of 1200/900). Say goodbye to all damage creeps.” -XenoSpyro.1780, gw2f
  • “This makes me recall a thread where 10 necros completed a raid … and people were criticizing them for it … so no, it's not Anet or their game design, its players. Players that carry massive baggage who don't want innovation. They grew up on standard MMO pablum … that's what they want to get fed now they are grown up.” -Obtena.7952 gw2f
  • “Why is there no Dogmander tag?” “And the answer remains: Commanding is more like herding cats. Dogmanders would be OP, especially the Collies.” -Illconceived Was Na.9781 gw2f
  • “Like now, I know which commander I should follow and listen to, because they seem to do a good job. Whereas, there are commanders I stay away from, because they are horrible at commanding, and tend to be more like Rurik.” -Rasp Sabreblade.5421 gw2f
  • “Honestly what they need to do is bring back Vanquisher mode from gw1 It send all the new players to rehab because its 'to hard' XD” -Larenc.1269, gw2f
  • “Nah, discourse in 2017 is about screaming louder than the other guy and adding -phobe/-ist/-ism to the end of every word you throw at your opponent.” -Chickenooble.5014, gw2f
  • “I don't know how anyone is looking at any butts with the amount of trench coats and butt capes in the game” -Reinthir.1349, gw2f
  • “I do hate thieves in WvW. Which is why I roam around looking for them to kill.” -Blockhead Magee.3092, gw2f
  • “Underwater bay battles. See each side flounder and panic when they dont know what their skills do. Praise be to ah-lawl” -Stand The Wall.6987, gw2f
  • “The value of words is that they help us communicate with each other. When a word’s meaning is becoming the topic of discussion, it’s time to use different words — 'casual' is an impediment to discussing the changes that concern you; try to rephrase, please.” -Illconceived Was Na.9781, gw2f
  • “This game is pretty kitten causal, here is the problem CORE tyria does not teach its players how to do anything besides auto attack and maybe cast heal for the majority of the content. With HoT and a few other parts of the game it expects and hopes that you learned to do more then that. IE learned the really big and basic tells for stuns/aoe damaging moves and dodging. With what you believe is a “casual” game is what i feel others would considering a “walking-simulator” game as they have NO/little challenge (think Firewatch/Stanly Parable). There are also games like Skyrim/Mass Effect/Witcher/Fallout in which you can set the difficulty/abuse hacks/console to overpower any/all content while living/enjoy a impressive world which seems to be what you want. Look for these games not and MMORPGS.” -Mastermavrick.2439, gw2f
  • “If you want a challenge solo the dungeon, if you want a harder challenge, carry a full PUG group though it, BUT, if you want a REAL challenge however.. ask them to help.” -STIHL.2489, gw2f
  • “Go play Super Mario Galaxy to learn how to orient in a 3D environment and then play Bloodborne or Dark Souls to learn how to die and overcome challenges. Then play GW2 and you notice how easy this game is.” -ProtoGunner.4953, gw2f
  • “Wait we have 'WvW gear' gear now? What is the stats, +power, +vitality, +salt?” -Dawdler, gw2f
  • “You really want to put people in a tizzy, give 1 AP for each wvw level. Watch heads explode.” -Blockhead Magee, gw2f
  • “At it’s heart introversion is about where you gain and expend energy. Introverts (the minority) expend energy when engaged with other people (socializing) and recharge when alone. Extroverts (the majority) gain energy while engaged and expend when alone. It’s not that introverts can’t be social, it’s just that we can’t do it for long before we are exhausted. We tend to be selective in how we socialize in order to conserve energy.” -DeadTreeJig.6714, gw2f
  • “I had……roaming fights last evening, my God, I had roaming fights.” -RodOfDeath.5247, gw2f
  • “There are now three classes of necromancers: Power, Condition, and Thread.” -Endless Soul.5178, gw2f
  • “You don’t need to cut down trees if you don’t want. It’s perfectly ok to stick to killing innocent animals and murdering people if cutting trees is a “feels wrong” issue.” -Just a flesh wound.3589, gw2f
  • “It takes upwards of 30 minutes to kill the lord in SMC if defenders are flowing in. If uncontested, only 2 – 3 minutes but still, that sucker takes a lot of effort to bring down. So much so that I often see people building flame rams to help with depleting his breakbar.” -SpellOfIniquity.1780, gw2f
  • “So.. wanna roleplay with me in the Norn hot springs later?” -MangoCrush.7819, gw2f
  • “It’s not a ranger problem. Other classes with knockbacks do the same crap. It’s a people problem. People are stupid.” -CETheLucid.3964, gw2f
  • “Everything in tier 4 is hilarity. Funny things happen everyday. 60 dying on gate to a cannon? Check! 5 or 10 falling off anz vista while trying to snipe people on ol village wall? Check! Wiping a blob on tower lord with a third of the numbers? Check! Winning 1v5s? Check! It’s pretty much eotm with more coverage issues.” -Reh.5986, gw2f
  • “My best in DAOC was win 8 vs 96…fun times” -Nikola.3841, gw2f
  • “Everyone knows that stealth in this game is terrible. Especially in WvW roaming. I’ll bet stealth has driven more people away from WvW than the DBL.” -Johje Holan.4607, ppf
  • “True legends never die, they respawn” -SpellOfIniquity.1780, gw2f
  • “YALL MOTHER FUCKERS NEED A GUILD AND THE WHALE LORD HAS ASK YOU TO JOIN NYKROMA SYNDICATE” -Zenorith Zanack, gw2
  • “To make roaming great again, you need to get rid of the current stealth mechanics and tone the damage down to pvp standards. We all know that won’t happen, so it would be wise to improve wvw and let roaming die.” -gebrechen, gw2f
  • “As I was told by a veteran player – The only way to avoid dying in WvW is to not log in. Live with it.” -Yuffi, gw2f
  • “mouth too blunt, truth too loud” -Kitta, gw2f
  • “BG for better or worse clung to the old school of heavy guild play. As guilds have slowly exited or diminished in GW2, BG suffered accordingly. YB still thrives because it is really a collection of roamers, PUGs and skirmishers. I believe this in turn hastened both JQ and BG attrition because YB zergs tend to disengage rather than become a bag farm to to better organized guilds. If a big BG guild shows up on a map they can dominate a battle but end up losing the PPT war and find an opponent that simply evades them until they gain an advantage.” -gw2f
  • “according to the Internet, which is a sort of an inter-connected MMO-type thing filled with cats.” -uknortherner.2670, gw2
  • “Agreed… But, I’m chronically verbose.” -EphemeralWallaby.7643, gw2
  • “I spent a bit of time thinking about it today and took a decision. I’m gonna go 'super casual' until the overhaul is released, maybe pvp sometimes.” -Xilllix.3485 gw2
  • “purely pvd and pvo(player versus ore)/we stack and empower before we mine.” -gw2
  • “Unfortunately most people don’t have enough insight to give constructive advice and would rather make baseless accusations or just flat out insult any one who disagrees with them.” -SpellOfIniquity.1780 gw2
  • “Shameless is recruiting! We're a guild of vulgar drunks, enlightened poets and maladjusted misfits seeking similar for guild drinking games, hella raids, PvP glory and general debauchery-” -Chillfolk, gw2
  • “Should we join her squid?” -Smaeg [Owls], gw2
  • “Nightfury; Blessed Shoulderguard of the Swagseeker.” -Andyjo, gw2f
  • “Yes, fear my mighty maffs! Tremble before Algebra!” -Blood Red Arachnid, gw2f
  • “The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget.” -SkyChef, gw2
  • “Mad Metal Solid Halo Max Gear Duty 16: Shoot Cops and Beat Up Women Platinum Edition.” -notebene, gw2f
  • “We'll be comming back as all NA ditched us anyway… Now Bronze will have 2 Kainengs.” -Jeknar- DH
  • “Also SoR and Db… Kaineng you poor, poor people…” -Arius, DH
  • “Wow, if Jeknar didn't take a shot at SoR that has to mean DB is full of serious douchebags.” -Valin, SoR
  • “I gotta agree with Fil here, this matchup is quite amazing, making me sad that we're not going to stay here, not going to gain enough glicko to stay…then it's back to hell with SoR and Kain…” -Root Treeborn, GoM
  • “The only thing I can say about Kaining is ….. why? I'm not here to beat you up, I'm stating fact … you're on a NA server yet you don't have a NA presence and you admit to this. Why be on a NA server when NA is your weakest timeslot, just doesn't sound fun for you and it's definately not for for us. Other than that have a great week everyone.” -Jordyee, SoR
  • “Also ran into a new condi trap thief so if you thought they were annoying before just wait haha” -briggah, gw2f
  • “Why are all thieves so cold? They all wear scarfs.” “You’d be cold too if you had no soul to keep your body warm.” -gw2 forums
  • “GW2 is not a sanctuary. Humans gonna be human.” -Sorel, gw2f
  • “How did you ham fisted neck bearded basement dwellers survive the site being down?” - Kisses, gw2wvw
  • “10/10 read and would read again (I like walls of text).” -Arius, DH, gw2wvw.net
  • “Boys, can't live with them, and can't drop them off the roof of the hunting lodge.” -Norn girl, GW2
  • “Balance discussions by those who don't know any better are usually whining. Any balance discussions are dismissed as whining by those who don't know any better.” -Ensign, gwguru
  • “Damn you Arenanet! I can't find anything bad about this game!” KiteGR, about GW2
  • “Funny, the main effect of playing the D3 beta has been making me more hyped for this.” -Hawkian, about GW2
  • “This is the part about BDO that people are missing. What BDO is trying to recapture is what it was like to play an MMO before the internet. Lots of games have talked about trying to make you recapture exploration and investigation but in the end they just lead from zone to zone doing a series of quests, Even GW2 who preached about exploration has their exploration only relevant to finding a couple of hidden jumping puzzles (They did improve this massively with living story and grand quests like mawdrey). Most games have far rely on the internet knowing that their player base gets overly frustrated when they don't know what to do, BDO is about people who want to get together as a group and figure stuff out.” -bdo
  • “Bring back culling, that was fun.” -Swamurabi.7890 gw2f
  • “Btw, the ingame atmosphere is the least toxic I have ever experienced. It is so friendly, cuddly and hug-the-bear sweet, you can get tooth decay just from reading chat.” -VAHNeunzehnsechundsiebzig.3618 gw2f
  • “'Part of', yes. 'Representative of', no. Forums are the vocal minority, the angry, the slighted, the frustrated, the wanting… and the occasional creative voice and lore discussion.” -Trise.2865 gw2f
  • “Yeah I don't see the point of increasing the level. I don't really see the point of the current level 80. Did we need level ups at all even? All it is is a gear gate to keep rookie players out of high level zones until they learn to play.” -SinisterSlay.6973 gw2f
  • “Have fun with your super nice matchup this week” -Deadskunning “I hate you…” -Jeknar

SIN

  • “Telling people not to start shit in this guild is literally telling them not to talk” -Osc, SIN-discord
  • “The most organized un-organized drunken squirrel guild ever” -Rock
  • Elly: I love you Elrik
Elly: If anyone reinvites Dill I will remove you.
Elly: Drama he started, I am ending it. Simple
> Welcome, Dill Picks. Stay awhile and listen
Elly: YOU FUCKING HAD ME REMOVED FROM ANOTHER FUCKING GUILD I BARELY SPEAK IN BECAUSE ITS A FUCKING CONFLICT OF INTEREST YET YOU THINK YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO BE IN MY GUILD?
Elly: THE FUCK/
Elly: EXCUSE ME?
Elly: GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY LIFE.
joneirik: Your guild ?
Elly: You know what, fine, I'll leave. This is entirely on you. Do not email me, do not message me from some alternate fucking account, do not add me on anything, do not speak to me. I am done with you, I am done with your bipolar manipulative psycho bullshit, and i'm done dealing with all of this.

ANet

  • “We are actively investigating other systems besides world linking. This does not guarantee that we will switch to a different system and stop world linking, but currently we are not committing to world linking for the rest of the life of the game. We want to do a more formal presentation on this particular topic once everything has been investigated a little bit more, so we can give better explanations on what to expect.” -McKenna Berdrow, gw2f
  • “It will be after the holidays.” -McKenna Berdrow, gw2f
  • “After analyzing the results we have decided to go with a 2 month world linking evaluation schedule because the majority of players voted for evaluations to be more frequent than quarterly but less frequent than monthly. Since we have decided to reevaluate every 2 months we will be reevaluating the current world links and making adjustments on the very last Friday of every even month starting this month on the 24th. Thank you to everyone who voted!” -McKenna Berdrow, gw2f
  • “But to be clear, you guys are arguing that you want to do ‘more PvE’, which seems to go against the forum’s current agenda of ‘less PvE.’” -Tyler 'Batman' Bearce, gw2f
  • “I’m not suggesting political correctness, I’m requesting simple human respect. I happen to believe that anyone who’s smart enough to play our game and smart enough to join our forum community is smart enough to state an opinion without a flame. I hope you agree.” -Gaile Gray.6029, gw2

GW2: Long

“People will play when there is a game mode worth playing. I don't know what that is. But it's probably one with well designed and thought out combat with good gameplay placing. Considering zero thought has been put in this area until lately, it's going to be an uphill stuggle. Whatever we do, we can't change the fact that most people don't want a functional game mode, but rather one that benefits them. Nothing will change the fact that many players are actually pvers despite bashing pvers that come in that simply want to avoid fights, siege hump, and backcap as much as possible. The vocal fight crowd is but a small minority, and how many of them are telling the truth? Does “we look for fights” only apply when it's a fight you can only win because you're holding hands with all those green dots and claim to only have 17 in squad? We even have posts stating outright that player vs player combat is a terrible thing that has no place in this game mode, and gleefuly urge Anet to make sure that they don't actually have to fight other players. This, my friends, is what your dealing with.
-
Remember when they said “If you're into WvW, you're really into PvE?”. Unfortunately they might have been right about many people that we had previously thought. I'm honestly very happy Anet has seen the light and made it harder to turtle– not only does that improve the game pace, but those people that have been killing the game mode can either actually learn to fight or leave. Either way, it's great.
-
Of course, I have zero faith that alliances will work. Pride and strength in unity sounds good, but as with all things, these are easy slogans to say when one is winning. When things go south and egos collide, all those words mean nothing. My bet is within 6 months, most alliances will have collapsed and will degenerate into a revolving door of constant reforms and shuffling of people that actually all secretly hate each other but want to band together for easy wins. Eventually this just all loses to entropy and just general boredom.
-
Basically the same old kitten.” -ArchonWing.9480 gw2f

“Personally, I never thought gw2 community is awesome. Not because it has some toxic individuals, every game has those. It is just simple lack the feeling of a community. There is no real reason to interact with people much. You can get a lot of things done without needs to interact.
-
A guild which supposedly be the center of a community building is just a useless LFG like existence here in gw2. Gw2 take all kinds of politics out of the game because they want a “friendly” community but you end up with a superficial community.
-
The gw2 community boost about how social the game is but all that social lack sense of closeness. The community go hype about how amazing the subset of gw2 is (like wvw or raid) but forget that great majority are not.
-
The kind of game design attract and encourage the same kind of people that make up the community. All the nostalgic feelings I had in other mmorpgs, not one or two mmorpgs but a couple, can't be found in this game at all now.
-
The current Gw2 is not a game made to support community but rather people that come and go. Which now I see the real model of the game design. Anet want people to buy gw2 and then leave after you done so they do not have to continue maintain costly infrastructures to support large amount of players.” -SkyShroud.2865 gw2f

“I think part of that is caused by the way the skill systems doen't emphasize synergy at a novice level. To this day, I still run into long time vets that don't understand basic buildcraft, because the areas they frequent don't demand build tweaks. In another thread theres a guy struggling to fight the Eater of Souls (years after its been nerfed)…. one of the few bosses that requires a bit of timing, and doesn't simply fall victim to collateral CC or DOTs.
-
A lack of problem solving skills, the combination of scaled back difficulty and Espec power creep, all contribute to obfuscating how this game intends you to resolve combat difficulty. Raids are on the extreme far end of that spectrum- and even then, it only represents a fraction of required skills, due to its artificial difficulty and heavy focus on DPS checks, number stacking, and hard failure conditions. To which the Raid community managed to completely break via Role Compression as a meta.
-
The big issue is that if you're not heavy handed with forcing co-op requirements, players will simply ignore it. The game is designed in such a way that players naturally syenrgize without explicit effort on the part of players. But the double edge is that while this avoids conflict potential, players are also failing to recognize its there, or that its even a direct benefit. They employed a similar system in Anthem (to its credit); but the players don't like it because it adds a lot of visual noise, and fails to do anything simply because individual Javelins are strong enough without them. That lack of apparent contrast in performance is why its so under valued as a concept.
-
Theres no one or two things that can fix this, because its a combination of deeply seeded psychological factors, a growing division between mechanical and social spaces, self-centered perspective (if not full blown narcissism), and a reward system having to do things it was never meant to deal with. I can best sum this up as “I want friends to play with… unless they inconvenience me”. Because even if you get rid of all the barriers to socializing….. many players treat it the same way they treat a reward system. IE: If it takes too much effort or is outside my comfort zone, its not worth my time. And once its the socializing becomes a barrier, the devs have better remove it.
-
And just to take pot shots at the raid community….. you can see this paradoxical behavior in action, where they demand it be a co-op focused challenge, but then quickly lose their kitten when the run doesn't go smoothly. The only difference between this and solo players is how they go about blame shifting.” -starlinvf.1358 gw2f

“The supposed level of toxicity or “niceness” mostly depends on each player's personal perception. However and as people already mentioned above, the base design of this game does indeed make sure to “keep people apart” from eachother while they actually play next to eachother. There is no need to fight over loot or kills (outside of a few minor exceptions). Most conflict is entirely negated by allowing players to show up and do whatever while taking part in Open World content. There is little need to even party up which, once again, leads to less conflict but there is also very little need to communicate at all.
-
Coming back to the personal perception - one might even claim that our players are so used to being “accepted” and allowed everywhere that they end up perceiving a simple “no” as open and world ending toxicity. The one time denial to take part in any content, even the denial to join a certain squad for rather good reasons, is one of the topics we have been known to fight over again and again. Comparing this “terrible toxicity issue” with stuff you see elsewhere is rather silly. Even if I am certainly not claiming that you won't meet the rare black sheep or two.” -Henry.5713 gw2f

“@OP I believe the answer to your question is essentially this: MMO players, particularly the ones who enjoy open world anything goes type game modes, do not really want complete balance because it's boring, they want enough diversity of choice that there's always a possibility that they or someone else will come up with the next great “overperforming” build or comp so that they can play that build or comp until it gets nerfed and the cycle repeats.
-
MMO developers understand this and so they don't worry as much about perfect balance for game modes like WvW and instead try to give players as many options as possible and see what players make of it and then they just try to whack-a-mole tune the stuff that gets complained about the most during any given balancing cycle. Perfect balance is fundamentally boring to open world type players. Potential imbalance is infinitely more interesting and fun for most people who play this sort of game mode.” -Israel.7056, gw2f

“So to preface the following, it is JUST MY OPINION. The unfortunate truth for some of us that play and are passionate about WvW is that simply our vision of the game is not Anets, nor has it ever been. We come here and complain about the usual things, population, class balance, PPT/PPK. nightcapping etc etc etc, the list goes on and on. The simple truth is that the game we FEW play is not the game that Anet had in mind. One just has to glance at the way they have systematically destroyed everything fight focused groups have had from the word “Go”. Obliteration of stability was only the start.
-
The hard truth is that the VAST majority of people who log into and play WvW are right there, in the Zergs, doing that thing we complain about. That is the major playerbase and that is who the game will be built around. I feel like the concept of WvW was always just a Tequatl event with players instead of dragons. One has to only point at the lack of GvG support to prove this.
-
Simply put, we (the few) want a game mode that the overwhelming majority don't want. Scroll back a few years in the threads to see the evidence. Just my thoughts and ramblings. I don't hate Anet for it and I love WvW but I feel like what I want versus what they want will never coincide.” -Trajan.4953, gw2f

Jadexi: /g dude the only fucking reason i dont make necro, cause its a profession that has sex with dead people. its sickening i don't understand why such game has this prof in first place.. its onyl reason
Kasmeer of Liefland: sex with dead people can be fun
Ignea Ragnis: its pretty boring since they don't scream “please stop”
Kasmeer of Liefland: i guess that's why the guy doesn't like the necro

“I have played games with multiple iterations of aoe limits. I’ve played with unlimited heal AOE, unlimited damage AOE, combination of both, etc. AOE limitations do not serve to encourage or discourage zerging. They simply determine the density of the zerg. Just changing AoE limits doesn’t immedately cause people to want to spread out and hit multiple objectives. It just makes people stand ten feet to the left when they zerg.
-
Encouraging splits means creating incentives for manned versus unmanned defense, and limiting instant travel severely. Moreso than that, it required meaningful objectives to defend. WvW’s objectives are meaningless by design. The mode is built specifically to encourage giant zerg battles first and foremost, not to simulate a working battlefield. “more fights” is an obviously higher design priority than “meaningful objectives” because WvW is the single session popcorn version of a PvP siege game.
-
Expecting meaningful tactical considerations in WvW is like expecting supply line considerations in battlefield. The game simply isn’t designed around it. It’s designed for players to constantly have some massive epic fight they can run to within three minutes, not for those fights to have any long term consequences.” -PopeUrban.2578 gw2f

“Plenty of board games (most of which are, like WvW, all about territory control and PPT) don’t tally the score until the end. Even in traditional sports, people have a tendancy to tune out if the game is already decided before the halfway mark if its obvious there’s no opening for a turnaround.
-
WvW is not a sport. It never will be. The number of players on the field varies by the minute, you have no control over the composition of the teams, and the participants can choose to leave the field at any time with no repurcussions. Making sports analogies in relation to WvW is like comparing apples and oranges. It isn’t a sport, and it isn’t a competitive mode, and it never will be. It’s a casual, instant gratification interpretetion of open world siege pvp that only holds player interest as long as the moment to moment play remains interesting.
-
There are no instrinsic concept or benefits of ownership, no stakes, and literally nothing that makes “real” competition in a siege metagame work. It’s just a large population pvp map with objectives designed to shuffle players in to large group engagements. That’s all it will ever be. It is a meaningless war for no stakes that never ends, never benefits the victor, and never punishes the loser.
-
And that’s fine. That’s why the rewards revamp focused on personal reward rather than objective based reward. It’s the only logical reward structure for a system that has only ever been about personal gratification and playing war games in stead of attempting to simulate the decision making and tactical processes that go in to a more detailed and impactful actual war game.
-
If anything, the entire concept of matches and score could be removed from WvW and it would change nothing. The score doesn’t matter, winning or losing doesn’t matter, and there are so many variables inherant in its systems that ensuring “fair” or “competitive” match ups is an impossibility.” -PopeUrban.2578 gw2f

“So based on the replies the only non-cheese build is a bad power build that doesn't counter anything and only does moderate dmg so it can't one shot anything. And it shouldn't be to sturdy also so it can't be considered a bunker build. Also no dmg immunity, blocks…

You can use condi build but should not be able to spam them as this is cheese. You can only apply condis at a moderate rate. Same bunker no nos apply.

On top of that you have to only engage in fights with totally equal numbers and only against people with proper builds for that fight format. You should also not use environment in any way that the opponent could consider as cheese. Before engagement you should make sure that the opponent is ready for the fight and aware of your position and intentions as using the first striker advantage is an obvious cheese.” -Cuks.8241 gw2f

Tybalt Leftpaw: The year is 20xx. The GW2 metagame has evolved to the point that, after the introduction of the Ultra Evolved Specializations from the seventh expansion pack, team fighting has become impossible. Anyone that walks onto a point will be immediately destroyed by a combination of Elementalist traps, Guardian physical skills, and Warrior's Ultra Primal Burst Sponsored By ESL™. Necromancers are the tankiest class in the game because of their new Grandmaster trait, which gives them a five-second invulnerability frame whenever they exit their new Mecha Elite Shroud. However, the only viable class is Thief. The new Ultra Evolved Specialization allows a Thief to instantly teleport to an enemy after using a stealth skill, regardless of whether that enemy is visible or not. Impact Strike is now an Adept passive trait. As such, teams are now running five-Thief comps, and the only deciding factor to who wins a match is ping. The ISP metagame has evolved to a point where players will pay Comcast to secretly install their routers in the enemy player's homes. The year is 20xx. All is lost.

Tybalt Leftpaw: The year is 30xx. D/D Ele has returned, with a vengeance, in the new expansion pack Guild Wars 2: Journey To Mountain Doritos. A new amulet has been added to the game; Ascension amulet, a Celestial stat spread, but with boon and condition duration. There are now so many stat-enhancing traitlines that everyone is constantly maxed out at 4k+ Power and 3k+ Condition Damage. Fighting on points is now irrelevant, as killing the enemy team to gain points is the fastest method of scoring. The only way of defense is invulnerability, as a newly-added runeset, Rune of Trueshot, makes every hit unblockable and undodgeable while over 50% health. It is now so dangerous to go outside of spawn that teams play out entire matches in their minds, and, whenever they get mentally-out rotated, immediately forfeit.

Drama has come to a rising peak, as Abjured is somehow still dominating N.A due to their leader, Noscoc, the real-life Necromancer. Anyone who dares oppose his rule is immediately Spectral Grasped from across the world into a trapped room filled with a series of devious traps developed by Wakkey himself. Whoever survives will find themselves torn to shreds by Magic Toker, the two-ton Man of Steel, enhanced with cybernetic implants that he bought using the entirety of his ESL winnings. Phantaram has literally ascended to godhood with the return of Celestial Elementalist, and left a balloon with a smiley face drawn on it in his place. There is no difference in his quality of play. Chaithh has now become the ruler of Eastern Europe, and sits on top a throne of gyros and turrets.

The year is 30xx. Hail Noscoc. Hail Phantaram. Hail Wakkey. Hail Toker. Hail Chaith. Glory to Arstotzka the Abjured.

“When people start acting like WvWvW is real war, I back away slowly.” -gennyt
“Thats called desertion /shoots genny” -X T D
“Can’t, I’m on my YB account so I’m safely behind a wall.” -gennyt
“well played lol” -X T D

While players at large certainly naturally gravitate towards rewards to a large degree it's imo also partially a symptom of the issue/design failure, as since the majority of the content isn't rewarding to play in of itself (as gameplay experience), most of what players have left is to just migrate to whatever is most rewarding in a monetary sense to get any sense of fulfillment, as they are not growing as players.

My biggest problem with LW and Open World in general is that it's almost purely reward driven, running on achievement checklists or economy breaking farms, rather than being about engaging gameplay first and being able to stand on it's own in that regard - which is then merely supplemented by a reward structure on top of that to retain long-term engagement.

GW2 with it's design has trained and further enforced the natural inclination of much of it's playerbase to foremost seek out monetary rewards, rather than to seeking out engaging and fun gameplay experiences to grow on as players and to have fun in, which then hopefully also “just so happen to be” somewhat rewarding in a monetary sense.

Looking at much of the complaints and fears after the recent EU server rollback what I most frequently read was “I did x achievement/farm and I really don't want to have to do that again”.

While losing progress ofc always sucks, a lot of players unfortunately don't seem to be playing engaging content with which they are just having fun with in the moment and which they would enjoy to play again (or even did that once), rather they are running on a treadmill of easy and bland but rewarding content, hoping for those earned things to matter someday somehow.

Just speaking for myself, when I go back to OW as a player since launch who doesn't really care about rewards anymore it's just for fun and that usually means HoT, doing things like soloing the few challenging Hero Points which somewhat survived the nerfs on quirky builds, despite not being at all rewarding monetarily.

-Asum.4960, gw2f


I think what throws new players for a loop here is that GW2's overall design differs from other MMOs in that (1) there is very little true vertical progression, in terms of gear, after level cap, which makes your character statistically better (and therefore noticeably more performance effective relative to the content) in large leaps and (2) the “open world” content at level cap is tuned to be quite difficult, rather than keeping the difficult content sequestered away in group instances (the latter of course exist, but they are not the only place tuned to a higher difficulty setting).

Players from other games (WoW for certain but certainly not only WoW) are simply not used to reaching level cap and having the level cap open world content lay them out again and again and again and, further, not having a way to out-gear the issue in the relatively short term. GW2, not being a primarily gear-progression game, has decided to create “endgame difficulty” in other ways – namely by creating open world content that is markedly more difficult than it is in pretty much any other MMO at level cap, and forcing players to overcome this by learning the detailed ins and outs of every aspect of their class – all of the trait options, all of the skill options, all of the weapons options – in detail to optimize performance and adapt to situations. It's an advancement scheme that isn't gear-related as much as it is player-related – in that sense it is much less of an RPG in the sense where the advancement is all about your character and its stats (as in gearing games) and more of an adventure game where the advancement is all about the knowledge and skill of the player driving the character as an avatar of the player.

It's simply a different approach to the one most MMOs take, and therefore it's going to be jarring for lots of new players when they reach 80 and discover that anet's approach to endgame difficulty is very different from other MMOs. The jarring effect is amplified by the fact that the design of the game from 1-80 does basically nothing much to force the player to learn said detailed ins and outs of their class in the detail that the follow-on content expects, as a baseline, in order to not get laid out repeatedly.

-Gwynhara.7261, gw2f


WarMachine

  • “This is a chronicle of man's endless appetite for destruction and strife and his search to redeem bloodshed through heroics. Each of us must choose a side, and we who fight will sign our names on the pages of history with our blood.” -Rhupert Carvolo
  • “Merc for a MK3 Combined Cultural Community Power ! (CCCP for short)” -Elrik Noj, ppf
  • “I've got more people logging in from… the WiiU browser than Edge or IE.” -lowinor, ppf
  • “Everblight just wants to survive and everyone is picking on him. He's quite sympathetic really. Every younger sibling can relate. Sometimes enduring against your siblings and abusive father requires a bit of ingenuity, like dividing up your being to empower brainwashed generals, absorbing several ancient cultures, and spawning genetically modified draconic monsters to do your bidding.” -Doug Seacat, ppf
  • “This thread is likely to cause the munchies and compulsive over eating. Closed for public safety.” -mod_Donaldbain, ppf, (about salt thread)
  • “eAlexia is an unhinged, absolutely bat out of hell crazy little punk chick who's off her meds and wants to run over people who get in her way and swing her oversized demon sword at people who get out of the way anyway, like some preteen playing GTA. She might bring a boogeyman along for the ride, and may summon some hell fire, but mostly she likes long rides through troops and the spray of the arterial blood on her face.” -Coinlord, ppf
  • “The keyword 'target' means 'you need LOS'. This is not perfectly clear in the rules, so errata will state it explicitly.” Lunatic Calm, ppf
  • “A chirping 'CHEEEESEEE! CHEEEESEEE!' is the mating call of the incompetent player, answered by a deep barking 'BRO-KEN!' when others of their species acknowledge that an entry in an army book is beyond their comprehension to come up with a counter measure for…” -Dansun, twf
  • “The primary thing I have learned playing Circle so far is that fair fights are for suckers and should be avoided whenever possible.” -Hal Gill, ppf
  • “I appear to have sprained my eye muscles from rolling them so violently and at such a high frequency. ” -DaughterOfFrankenstein, PPF
  • “I fear Gorten.. I fear him so much…” -HellecticMojo, ppf
  • “They called me crazy? they called me insane? THEY CALLED ME LOONEY!! and boy, were they right.” -MegaVolt, ppf
  • “I wanna have your babies. Your evil fish babies.” -DaughterOfFrankenstein to mikethefish, ppf
  • “Get me a dozen shoeing nails, a pair of rivets, and a quart of pitch tar. The Mule's down and we'll prolly be needin' her t'morrow.” -Grover Hollenbach, Devil Dog company mechanik
  • “We do not believe that games should be a test of player's depth perception, or that carpenters should have an inherent advantage in a war game. Accordingly, players are free to measure distances at any time.” -Secrets of the Third Reich rulebook

Misc

  • “never play assassination against Searforge, you will just solve their mobility issues.” -1d4chan
  • “If there is a method to his madness, it lies somewhere deep in his alchemist's mind -a labyrinth best left unexplored.” -Magnus the Traitor, about Gorman Di Wulfe, Rogue Alchemist
  • “When in doubt, smash something. It might not actually help improve your situation, but it sure is satisfying.” -Darla Kennerud, Privateer Insider
  • “For Blood and Coin! Our business is War!”
  • “You can't ignore a Juggernaut. It just keeps coming, shrugging off everything you throw at it. The only way to deal with one is heavy and unrelenting concentrated fire.” -Major Markus “Siege” Brisbane, WM
  • “Drake Macbain! is so manly that when fielded with Cygnar… they look cool.”
  • “No help in sight? Call 1-800-MACBAIN”
  • “MacBain on Cryx: “Just an evergrowing gang of losers, some more than once. woo scary.”

LOS/WMH

  • “Well todays top moment, opponent managed to cripple mind on both my heavy beasts, and applied grievous wounds. So Barny1 popped feat…” -joneirik los
  • “That's because (Warhammer) Fantasy was so unbalanced you even needed counterweights in some minis so they didn't fall off” -Lothcaramon los
  • “DnD players: Putting the agoni in protagonist since 1974” -Fabint los
  • “Take a handful of blind illiterate French peasants, hand them a Norwegian dictionary, and tell them to translate it to French. That is how you get English.” -Fabint los
  • “GW games are a setting with some vague game rules attached to it. WMH is a rules set with a circumstantial setting behind it.” -Sckitz los
  • “I feel a majority of WMH players could just be rules consultants for 40k and get paid and do a better job” -WarriorofIron los
  • ”(Fun fact: there isn't enough covid in Europe or Asia to effectively test vaccines against exposure. Really the US is just helping out)“ -Fabint los

PrivateerPressForum - Mercenaries

  • “With Gorman, Eiryss, Aiyanna & Holt, and Ragman you can probably kill a colossal with the P+S 6 headbutt of a Grundback Gunner. :-)” -SportsComedia, ppf
  • “When even Magnus won't troll, even Toruk couldn't reanimate the horse.” -Professor Lust, ppf
  • “Quiet you!! The grown-ups are talking…” -MagnustheJust, ppf
  • “I just want it on the record that I hate you and wish your every future game was against eHaley. That is all.” -vytzka to DaughterOfFrankenstein, ppf
  • “Gorman is a super-annoying little Swiss Army Knife of destruction and doom. You'll often get just one shot off with him before he dies, but that one shot can win you the game.” -Stretch Ink, ppf
  • “I have to agree with Tyr. While there are some heated conversations, this forum is by far one of the better ones. If you ever need a good laugh, i recommend visiting the Merc boards. It's like Sesame Street in an insane asylum.” -Coinlord, ppf
  • “He's not the Hero cygnar wants, but he can be the hero Cygnar needs. Because he is Magnus.” -Ricky Racoon, ppf
  • “I also employ a “Darkwing Duck” philosophy, when the game starts going against me…it's time to get Dangerous…” -DevilSquid, ppf
  • “Putting it (Rocinante) on a metal chassis is even more… challenging. By which I mean I would rather assemble another twenty halberdiers than do that again.” -Robert Shepherd, ppf
  • “Happiness is to shoot eGaspy with pEiryss in turn one, distrupting him and rolling double six for damage. Then feat with Fiona in turn2, pop minifeat with Dougal, walk out from meelee with the tied down members of a Long Gunner unit with a single casualty due to free strike, and CRA eGaspy to death from 16” while shooting through Bane Knights, a Reaper and the WSC…” -pattison, ppf
  • “Well, maybe not in your case, but you are certifiably insane so you can't really use you as a standard »” -Blugger about MagnustheJust, ppf
  • “I once won a game against EMadrak where all I had left was 1 Nyss, Drake and Kell Bailoch. Kell shot EMaddy twice taking out the sacrificial Krielstone pawns, Nyss ran up to EMaddys face, then Drake ran in and took him down. It felt dirty, it was dirty. My opponent still had all his Heavys, and the majority of his troops. I sheepishly shook his hand and apologised.” -blackacid_devyl, ppf
  • “And I put him on pAlexia and the Risen to get them Dug In and the 3” move and extra melee attack under eStryker's feat. That was great fun; when my Cryx opponent started telling *me* my undead unit was OP, I knew I was doing it right.“ -sleet01, ppf
  • “Best excuse I ever heard: “I don't want to play against your mercs, because they're broken.”” -Devilsquid, ppf
  • “That doesn't have anything to do with it. I don't want to play against your mercs because you are broken. :P” -gr31, ppf
  • “Honestly, the excuse that bugs me is: “I don't want to play because I don't want to lose.” Yes, I can understand that losing is frustrating, but you don't get better if you don't play, and you definitely don't get better if you don't play people better than you.” -Devilsquid, ppf
  • “Man. This thread is all kinds of hilarious. Don't hate on Magnus, he's doing you all a favor. Making Cygnar models actually cool.” -Lanz, ppf
  • “Magnus is resourceful, he doesn't need PP support.” -Caterpillargreen, ppf
  • “Well, that didn't take long. I sympathize with CoachB, because PP has been giving the Rhulic the short end of the stick for far too long. They've had it up to here *holds hand at belly height* with this slander. A third caster has been long in coming, and now they have to stretch their patience till maybe next year. That's a tall order. I'm not surprised that these turn of events have stunted peoples interest in playing the Rhulic. PP doesn't know squat about appeasing some of it's players, which i wager feels belittling.” -Devilsquid, ppf, about rhulic complainers
  • “Gorton v Gorton rockwall hell. Do not.” -absent, ppf
  • “I had Rhupert charge Barnabas in a moment of complete desperation. Hit, and at -8 (barnabas was knocked down) I rolled 6-6-5. Would've won the game if barnabas didn't cunningly have 1 fury left for transfers.” -Dude, ppf
  • “All aboard the McBain Pain Train.” -PG_mellchia, ppf
  • “She is actually her own faction, she can simply take mercenary warcasters, units, warjacks, and solos from other factions… It's her game, you just have the fortune or misfortune of being in it…” -Macguffin (on Alexia), ppf
  • “I can't tell you how many times I've woken up at night screaming the words 'I'm gonna buy with this Risen <pluck>'… 'I'm gonna boost with this Risen <pluck>'.” -Eviscerae, ppf
  • “I remember in the first or second GenCon after Prime, Butcher + Eiryss by themselves were taking on 500 point armies…and winning” -MoonDever. ppf
  • “Don't worry, he's coming back as Epic Shae Raelthorne with Blood of Kings. You hear it here first.” -PG_vytzka, ppf
  • “Nyss Hunters are like duct tape. If they cannot fix the problem it is not meant to be fixed.” -sepher32, ppf
  • “You'd need a reeeally expensive target to make sacrificing that war hog worthwhile cos after your opponent witnesses all that maniacal beatdown, i don't think that pig's coming back.” -squee, ppf
  • “Wow, even by Gigantic Cybernetic Pig-Man standards, that guy is a cut above.” -jandrese, ppf
  • “We are Mercs. That which does not kill us, makes us stronger. That which does kill us, makes us work for Alexia.” -Devilsquid, ppf
  • “The Renegade, Merc Character Jack= it has Affinity: Magnus [During its activation the renegade along with another renegade can spend 3 focus to get a pretty reliable caster kill against 90% of the casters in the game]” -ppf
  • “That totally takes the 'R' out of friendly.” -MagnustheJust, ppf
  • “That clanking you hear is our steel balls clanging together when we take the field against real factions.” -ErsatzGnomes, ppf
  • “Give a faction player a lemon, they'll cry about how they have to make lemonade. Give a merc player a lemon, he'll squeeze the juice in your eye, beat you down, and steal your lunch money”. -Devilsquid, ppf

PrivateerPressForum

  • “The ignorant must be beaten with the Mallet of Wisdom until their heads are swollen and inflamed with knowledge.” -captainspud, ppf
  • “lol tell him this Rush+savagery+carnage+two sidesteps+reach” -SteamPoweredCat, #ppf
  • “Huzzah! internets was had” -OnionOppressor, ppf
  • ”'Power gamer' is just what the casuals call their betters.“ -Lanz, ppf
  • “Its a love hate relationship (Trenchers). I love the models and love fielding them. They hate me for putting them on the table and commit suicide at every convenient moment” -Darkblood, ppf
  • “Privateer Press is not EA Games. PP will not actively screw their customers to get money. Don't get me wrong, they want money, I just don't think they'll screw us to get it.” -Wispur, ppf
  • “All this fighting. It's not who's right. It's who's left.” -Schrödinger's cat, ppf
  • “Pride is totally broken-OP. It messes up players so badly that they can't even figure out why they lost.” -Lanz, ppf
  • “Well, we spent all day today on table 1 or 2 and we have yet to play a team with a Stormwall… When we were on table 2, the Belgiuns were on table 1 with their 8 Stormwalls, but they lost 4 - 0 to one of the Swedish teams. We just lost to the same team, and they had 4 balanced lists, with Warmachine casters - they apparently killed all 8 Colossals last round. Some / all of the theory machining in this thread may be off base…” -FearLord, ppf
  • “If there is a clear set of rules, who is the bigger jerk - the guy who follows the rules and expects his opponent to do the same, or the guy who ignores the rules and expects his opponent to just let him?” -Cloud-Gatherer, ppf
  • “The Legion's heavy cavalry has been confirmed to be Ogrun using a pair of Shredders as rollerskates, in a dream I had.” -Lachlan the Mad, ppf
  • I can confirm Lachlan's story. In addition, Menoth's light cav is Idrians on camels, and Circle's heavy cav is riding bears, because PP enjoys making Khador players cry. Skorne is getting rhino cav and Trollkin are getting pygs on pigs because PP also enjoys making Farrow players cry.” -Quindraco, ppf
  • “Geh, I feel like a Scooby Doo villain, 'I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for those meddling Black 13th!'” -A recent opponent
  • “I took pKreoss against eGaspy once and had him call my feat bull.” -Vinsklortho, ppf
  • “Come to the dark side. Forget cookies, we have horny chicks!” -Alviaran, ppf
  • “I just trick my dice by yelling 'command check' when I roll to hit, and beg them for double sixes on terror. Once they're confused I switch back. Now they're random in self-defense.” -CareyBear, ppf
  • “A newb becomes a good player when he starts to evaluate and make plans to win the game, rather than survive.” -prkl, ppf
  • “Nice looking models. And because it always bears repeating: Chicks dig giant robots.” -Crazy Uncle Doug, ppf
  • “Burn the Unbelievers! Unless your Devil Squid…he is okay in our book.” -KuVenet, ppf
  • “But Stryker is a manly man. Full of manly prowess. And manly toughness. He just blows up sometimes.” -LaunchPad, ppf
  • “So apparently a friend who plays Cygnar went to a tournament and set up across from an opponent, who on seeing the Black 13th asked “which on of those Fuckers is Watts?” I want to meet the person who made that man hate Watts.” -Tuckers, ppf
  • “One of my crowning achievements with Karchev was killing pDeneghra. On her feat turn. With a spell.” -tonyzahn, ppf “……. I… you… wat!?” -rivenwyrm, ppf
  • “On a side note: Fun is much more in the opposing player than the faction. A nice opponent who plays hard is always more fun than a whining opponent who plays bad.” -Pirrekurr, ppf
  • “And lo, Everblight declared there shall be the one male, and he shall be large and scary. And then there shall be many females of slinky blighted hotness. And they shall serve him.” -Defenestrator, ppf
  • “Menoth isnt a bad guy, his clergy is (in PoM anyways).” -Crate123, ppf
  • “The one that always gets me is when my Butcher/Karchev friend tells me to fight like a man when I play Sorscha or Ashlynn. He thinks I should just rush head first into his army, and then there will be a big bloodbath and that's how it should be played. I play a lengthy keep away game, partly because he'll destroy me if he catches me, and partly because his tears of frustration taste like cupcakes and sunshine.” -John of Arc, ppf
  • “We've got so many accuracy buffs that it's RAT could be 0 and I wouldn't be worried about it. RAT 4 plus rangers, trencher master gunner, boosting to hit, aiming, and deadeye means that he'll hit DEF 24 on an average roll. Granted its unlikely that you'll have all of those in one list (though not all that far-fetched), but it's also unlikely that you'll ever see that high DEF.” -jdeckert, ppf
  • “The War(caster/lock) is the king and queen rolled into one. It's the most powerful piece, but if you lose it, you're done. The key to learning this game is to protect the King, while utilizing the Queen.” -Devilsquid, ppf
  • “But, yes, the forums are where language goes to die, and, while I sympathize with your frustration, I'm not sure if anything can be done” -SpiralingCadaver, ppf
  • “The balance between the two game versions is fine. The part that needs to be fixed is between the game table and the chair…” -MagnustheJust, ppf
  • “If you make cryx sparkle I will kill you.” -ColdYinTiger, ppf
  • “Also Gw still hasn't admitted that any other game companies exist…=)” -CT Gamer, ppf
  • “I know that there's been no 'Cryx is Overpowered' thread this month (we've been distracted by Legion, tbh), but I didn't think that the Cryx players were needy enough to create their own…” -Amarel, ppf
  • “Fixed, oh, King of Technicalities, Lord of Knowledge, Oppressor of the Incorrect.” -Plarzoid, ppf
  • “I do not have a pickle. I am saddened by this. Sad moo.” -Crazy Uncle Doug, ppf
  • “From my last tourny games, every time my opponet said 'they have what' when I said 'mat10 pow12 4d6 on charge' when I charged with my swordknights next to a positiv charged lancer” -The Anders, ppf
  • “Boosted hand cannon shot from the Journeyman rolls a 17 to hit, and an 18 to kill against Sorscha.” -dangerparty, ppf
  • “Without trying to make you look dumb, read the cards again.” -Techcasualty “you didnt have to try, I managed it myself quite good. thanks !” -guttedrunner, ppf
  • “You've heard that lads (Sword Knights)? We're in OTT league!” -Knight, ppf
  • “Best way to convert warhammer to warmachine; ebay.” -Plebian, ppf
  • “Can I move to your meta?” -Eviscerae, ppf
  • “My stance on this is quite simple. No take backs. That includes re-arranging models after you've moved them. This is for two reasons - firstly, regular take backs promote sloppy play. I don't want to be a sloppy player and i don't want to play against sloppy players.” -Marius, ppf
  • “Being on forums too long has made me a bit too gun-shy.” -Crazy Uncle Doug, ppf
  • “Beast has killed more warriors than smallpox.” -Musketeer, ppf
  • “The prospect of the new IK RPG makes me giddy in ways my girlfriend only wishes she could.” -PG_Askew37, ppf
  • “Yeah, Molik Karn is a feat that lasts the entire game.” -Raven28256, ppf
  • “To err is human, to truly #@$% up youll need a warjack” -StormFORCE, ppf
  • “Girlfriends come and go. Pewter is forever.” -rydiafan, ppf
  • “Gleefully mucking about in the RPG graveyard for fresh game corpses. I'm stitchin' together a monster!” -Redcap, ppf
  • “Going to run a game of MAID RPG set in pre-invasion Llael. You are now envisioning a trollkin in a maid uniform.” -Badwrongfun, ppf
  • “Why? Fox news is the greatest source for fearmongering, irrational and just plain laughable journalism. I visit their “fair and balanced” website daily.” -Alex C, ppf
  • “Oleg is the name, and making Cygnarans cry is the game.” -Yertle4, ppf
  • “I predict it will ruin Warmachine! Why? Because I'm impulsive and don't need evidence!” -Grom, ppf
  • “If my army is playable I'm not finished choosing units yet.” -MrChom, ppf
  • “There are very few problems in this world that cannot be solved via a healthy dose of wife-cleavage and cake.” -PPS_DC, ppf
  • “My (long-winded, offbeat, poorly-conceived, ham-handed attempt at making a) point exactly.” -Kalranya, ppf
  • “Friends don't let friends do Quantum Physics and Wargame.” -wazatdingder, ppf
  • “The only thing broken in Warmachine is a good player.” -Obeisance, ppf
  • “Spirit of the Game” is the battle cry of the loser.“ -Zombied00d, ppf
  • “Remember fluff and real world mechanics does not equal rules.” -TheUnknownMercenary, ppf
  • “The objective of the game is to win. The point of the game is to have fun. The two should never be confused.” - Not Dice, ppf
  • “What is the most broken WM faction? : Whoever I'm playing against. Or Cryx. Yeah definitely Cryx. You can't have Cryx without Cry, as I always say…” -viperidae99, twf
  • “Seriously, house rules usually are inventions of uncompetitive players. Here we have two groups, one plays WM/H as it is, the other group plays with house rules. If I had to name the top 10 local players, I think they all would be in the first group.” -geistwald, ppf

You might be a gamer if...

  • “You might be a gamer When your daughter asks for pink dice for christmas so that she can play warmachine with you and momma.” -Murkhadh, ppf
  • “You might be a gamer if …your oldest Daughter won her Khador Faction Coin in a hard-fought tournament against a rather large and very good faction player base.” -PG_Shadow4ce, ppf
  • “You might be a gamer if …your youngest daughter has won every MonPoc tournament your LGS has had.” -PG_Shadow4ce, ppf
  • “You might be a gamer if …as you're heading out the door on Valentine's weekend, your wife hands you a Victoria's Secret coupon, tells you to bring home whatever you think will be most fun, and you return with a yet another unit of MHSF so your Tier 4 Garryth list can now sport 7 Mage Hunter Assassins!” -PG_Shadow4ce, ppf
  • “You might be a gamer if …you know it's okay (and your wife is a gamer too), when she returns home the same time you do with a new Pirate board game, claiming to the entire family of four, 'the loser has to be the kitchen wench on dishes detail!'” -PG_Shadow4ce, ppf
  • “I am truly blessed!” -PG_Shadow4ce, ppf
  • “You might be a gamer …when you walk in to the LGS with your minis and find you are the only girl out of thirty people there.” -Dragons_Daughter, ppf
  • “You might be a gamer …when you walk in to the LGS and get to say 'No, I don't need you to explain what's going on here!'” -Dragons_Daughter, ppf
  • “You might be a gamer …when you find several d6 rattling around the bottom of your purse next to the spare makeup and coins.” -Dragons_Daughter, ppf
  • “You might be a gamer …when a good minis case is in fact more vital than said purse, because while the minis case has enough pouches for a phone and wallet, the purse is absolutely useless at carrying minis!” -Dragons_Daughter, ppf
  • “You might be a gamer …if you've ever met your roomate's boyfriend for the first time, then had him ask if your Scythean was a Carnifex, causing said roommate to storm off and leave both of you to 'talk nerdy' (last week…)” -Dragons_Daughter, ppf
  • “You might be a gamer … when your RPG & video game characters are getting more action than you…” -MagnustheJust, ppf
  • “You know you're a miniatures gamer when your 3 year-old tells people that “daddy likes guys” and you're not sure which interpretation of that statement is more socially awkward.” -The_Puritan, twf
  • “You might be a gamer when you sift through what the vacuum picks up, just in case there are any important bitz that got dropped.” -Kalranya, twf
  • “You might be a gamer if you've burned down your garage when trying to do 'burn effects and cratering' in some new boards with a blowtorch. Yeah, the wife almost called the lawyer 'cause of that one. I don't recomend that particular technique.” -Spleen Hammer, ppf
  • “You might be a gamer …if you've accidentally glued your face to your desk and had to have your wife spray the debonder which was just out of reach.” -Eviscerae, ppf

WarMachine Long

Prime Magnus, The Traitor
Epic Magnus, The Warlord
Ultra Magnus, The Transformer -JacobtheAussie, ppf
We're mercs man, it's to be expected. We try to break every rule we get.
“hmm, explosivo'eh? So if I cast this on Kell, I get snipe on the blast? ”
“Hey, what about Doc, you get 3d6 blast! 4d6 on feat turn!”
“Oooh, Eiryss, disrupting blast!”
PP: “NEIN! NO BLAST FOR YOU!”
-Verjigorm, ppf
“After reading all the 'horses!' posts above, perhaps I should have said, 'Maybe next we can hope to see 3Magnus beating a dead horse.'” -Stuh42l, ppf
“Or one he cobbled together out of spare horse parts he scrounged up.” -VOLK, ppf
“Still, the image of Magnus glaring down the battlefield, mekanikal arm gripping a dead stallion by the legs and dragging it behind him delights me to no end.” -Stuh42l, ppf
“Maybe next we can hope to see 3Magnus dragging a dead horse. For cover of course!” -Stuh42l, ppf

tag

I personally love unloved models and i usually don't care about winning. Actually, to be honest, sometimes i do want to win (e.g. when going to a tournament) and field a list made of so called competitive models and after winning i feel completely unaccomplished. Even sad sometimes. But usually (occasional thrusday even games) i make lists made up of models i just like, models i think work good together or just look good together on the table. The aim of the game is still winning but compared to the “competitive list game” it is not about pulling off the standard tactics but about inventing new things, getting tricky, getting into situations you've never been before finding a way out, having your army as good as wiped out but always with that small chance to win in sight. That's when i am happy after a game, no matter if i won or lost. Those are the games that end in a completely unpredictable way pulling off tactics you wouldn't ever have even dreamed about if you hadn't been in that situation that very moment against that opponent. Those are the games with victory on a knife's edge turn after turn after turn. Those are the games where both players have to fight all the time, where both played a game they will remeber and will tell others about. … i've never had such a game at a tournament.

Maybe turning to an internet forum for a “competitive” list is not a good idea. The internet can be a very useful place, but it often serves up cocktail of anonymity, group-think and the lowest common denominator as it's version of consensus. I am not saying that there isn't wisdom to be had, but you don't hear the guys winning tournaments saying, “yup, printed it right off the ol' forum and it worked like a charm.” Sure there are certain builds that will pop up regularly but each is different. A system like WM is way too complex for any single list to stay on top for long.

Second, why should you believe that “synergy” (an incredibly vague term by the way) is the only way to build a list that can win or place high in tournaments? Perhaps crowd control or overwhelming numbers are a better idea. I am not saying they are, but by accepting this premise you are excluding every other possible approach.

But I’ll go you one better for my third point. The concept of a “competitive” list just doesn't hold water. How many times have you seen someone's tournie winning list posted on the web to the nearly-unanimous, indignant reply, “He won with what?!?” People win with weird lists constantly (have a listen to Jason Watts on Lost Hemisphere Radio 28 for some anecdotal evidence).

A better question is this, what defines competitive to you? Consensus on the web? If so see paragraph one. Is it the regularity that a particular list wins tournaments? Again, no list stays on top forever, or even for a very long time.
If getting to the top of the tournie charts is how you define competitive, maybe you should take a look at what is on top most frequently. You’ll see that it’s not specific lists that are most frequently at the top, it’s specific players. If you want to win, don’t copy their lists, copy them.

One thing I can guarantee those guys have in common is playing a lot of games. At worst, I promise you’ll improve, even if you don’t start winning every tournie in sight. Maybe that’s not good enough. Still, that has to be better than waiting until 2012 for another chance to speculate.
-MOZZ, ppf
When do you get to that “killer instinct” point? In general, I'd say “six months to a year, depending.” The answer depends on a number of things, but my experience says it mostly it boils down to:
– How quickly you learn the core game rules
– How quickly you learn what your models can do
– How quickly you learn what your opponent's models can do
…in that order.
I am of the opinion that learning the core game rules is the absolute biggest requirement for graduating into the “advanced player” category. I have watched many players begin playing the game at roughly the same time, and in every case, the player who reads the rules learns faster. The game never seems to gel for people who just read the quick start rules and sort of “learn as they go”.
In general, those people don't advance nearly as well and tend to get hurt feelings/bad feelings/annoyed/etc. when somebody tells them “You can't power attack on a charge”, but feel cheated when the other player uses a * Attack Thresher on a charge and wipes out a swathe of their army. They lack the rules understanding to know why one works and why one doesn't.
-ichael, ppf

WarHammer

Div

  • “You say the Kroot have no sense of humour? On Bequefen IV one particular group kept themselves amused for hours between assaults, by imitating the whistles of shells passing overhead… Every time my men leapt for cover the Kroot all but fell to the ground laughing!” -Has'Aonui, Fire Caste Officer Commanding - Bequefen IV Expansion Force
  • “Lifes a waste of time, Times a waste of life, Get wasted all the time and you'll have the time of your life.” -Silas, dnet
  • “The fact that your SPECIFIC army build no longer functions in no way nullifies the fact that, as a whole, the Dogs of War gained a fair amount of ground in their level of competitiveness in this edition. Any SPECIFIC army build which heavily relies on a few specific units will suffer when a new edition comes out. It happened to the High Elf Silverhelm army in the change from 6th to 7th, and the MSU Demon force from 7th to 8th.” -JohnHwangDW, DOWonline
  • “Ogres is the worst thing GW did to Wood Elves ever” -Andruillius, Albion
  • “joneirik: then in that case you have an agile imagination :D” -Syjahel, #DNet
  • “When I played Skaven, I whent to tournaments with one goal in mind. Kill more of my own rats than my opponent. If I fell short I immediately point my guns at one of my units. It was more fun to win at my goal than it was the actual tournament, and it was always funny for an opponent when I explaned to him that the gunner had his food taken away by the units capatin and he was just extracting revenge, when he questioned why I'd do that.” -Jice_, ppf

TWF

  • “reading rulebooks, like sacrificing minions, solves many a situation.” -queek, twf
  • “I was having a perfectly good Sunday morning until I read this thread.” -queek, twf
  • “you believe incorrectly.” -queek, twf
  • “He's got a mind like a steel trap. By which I mean it can only hold one idea at a time, it latches onto the first idea to come along, good or bad, and it takes strenuous work with a crowbar to make it let go.” -fellblade, twf
  • “What I find strange is the number of people willing to play bad rules.” -zedeyejoe, twf
  • “If you don't enjoy Warhammer but you're hanging out on a Warhammer forum, maybe you should re-evaluate how you spend your free time.” -Wheggi, twf
  • “Jessica is too busy laughing, because as my father always used to say - 'If you can't laugh at yourself, you're a prick.'” -Jessica DeJong, twf
  • “Would you like your answer in the flavour of RAW, RAI or shall we skip that and go straight to the flamewar, sir?” -Daniel, twf
  • “Carlsberg don't do wargames but if they did it would probably be nothing like this.” -Lordy on changes for WFB 8th Edition, twf
  • “But honestly now, One of the best things about 8th edition being out in stores is that I will never ever have to be bothered to read anything that Avian posts again. I cannot stress that enough.” -darkishmagi, twf
  • “Ah first person shooters. Where all the scum and idiots end up.” -manicpsychotic, twf
  • “All these changes are certainly making theory-hammer difficult…” -Typhus, twf
  • “You keep using the acronym 'RAI'. Until you realise that what you're arguing for is not the rules 'as intended' but rather as you prefer them, you're never going to understand another position.” -Grotsnot, twf
  • “I can provide numbers ignoring the requirement to ignore the top and bottom placed players of each army, and they serve very well to demonstrate why I do it - Phil Mainwaring is a statistical anomaly (I've called him worse) and keeping all results would result in Ogre Kingdoms getting 1760 points (0.88 handicap).” -Grotsnot, twf (about hes own handicap point system)
  • “As I said the reason things like this won't change is because GW has dug itself a nice big hole and has no real way of getting out without ravening hordes MK II.” -manicpsychotic, twf
  • “YES! YES! JESUS H. TAP-DANCING CHRIST… I HAVE SEEN THE LIGHT!” -supersonik, twf
  • “I can't imagine they make a bundle on army books. If anything much. Personally I don't care for the warhammer fluff so much. Skaven are evil ratmen and…. yes I get it, where do the rules start?” -AndyONeill, twf

#twfchat

  • “oh grow up…………if porn was bad…………why are there so many nuns in it?” -Soren, twf
  • “I'm used to talking to doug and kull, needing to explain things multiple times with crayon diagrams” -Stovaa, twf
  • “and its true, those damned catholics want to have range guesssing back” -Usagidoug, twf
  • “Elves: not a man, not a woman but often an object of desire for Soren” -Pinback, twf
  • “Show us on the teddy bear where the elves touched you Soren” -Pinback, twf
  • “like my dear old dad always said; If ya couldnt fuck em there would be a bounty on em =), and ole lord kull would be rich” -lordkull
lordkull_: but arnt you danes back in teh stone ages anyway =p
Thagdarf: NORWEGIAN ! Don't you go and accuse those poor danes unjustified !
SOF_oh: his love of Warmachine is making sense more every day
usagidoug: tell me about it
joneirik: Someone joked to me once that reading warhammer rules was more akin to reading the bible than laws. You had to interpret the meaning behind the intention more than the words.
FrankB: joneirik: I am a lawyer who attended 9 years of Catholic school, and I couldn't agree more
Usagidoug: this is thag?
*Usagidoug slaps thag with a I THOUGHT YOU WERE A GIRL

Div

  • “What followed was a whirl of shame and confusion.”
  • “Welcome to the Internet, where stating your opinion is a declaration of war.”
  • “It's actually short for 'get back, Satan' and was used in exorcisms from the middle ages until the Catholic church decided to enter the modern era and put a stop to such superstitious nonsense - in 1999! Vade retro could be said to invoke protection against any evil - in this case, the weakest Gaul in the village and one of the shortest.” -Translating Latin in Asterix
  • “In a game about the apocalyptic end times of the galaxy, where humanity is ruled by a totalitarian regime of Catholic space nazis that purge on sight…………and you worry the fur might send the wrong message? Holy shit, I needed that laugh.” -Comments about PETA fighting GW to remove fur from models.
  • “Let us be enlightened by the wisdom of urban dictionary: 2. opinion = immunity to being told your wrong” -Gharkash, giantitp-f
  • “We respect all forms of life, but we'd rather respect this from a distance” -Giant Solifuge, mtg
  • “How does thou kill that which has no life?!” “Simple, shut down youtube and social-media, and they will all die of hearth attacks and withdrawal syndrome.”
  • “No amount of Little Girls can slay Old Foggy, each one you throw at him makes angrier!” -Old Fogey, MtG
  • “Heaven is: an American salary, a Chinese Cook, a British Home, and a Japanese Wife. Hell is: a Chinese salary, a British Cook, a Japanese House, and an American Wife.”
  • God and the angels after creating the world sat down and had a lottery for natural dissasters and other hazards for each continent. Afterwards one of the angels said: “So north america got tornadoes, south america storms, japan got earthquakes and so on. But what about Norway ? They didn't get anything at all, is that fair?”. Then God turned around and said while smiling. “Just you wait until you see the government they will get stuck with!”
Guy dies and goes to heaven and says: “god why did you make women so pretty?”
god replied: “So you would like them.”
guys asks: “Why did you make them so soft?
god replies: “So you would like them.”
guy then asks: “Why did u make them soooo stupid?”
god replies: “So they would like you.”
“No Dog Piles. A dog pile is a disagreement wherein one person says something wrong or offensive, and a large number of people comment in response to tell the person how wrong and/or horrible they are, and continue to disparage the original poster beyond any reasonable time limit. People commenting at the same time, without realizing others are jumping on the person as well do not make a dog pile. The requirement is to join in with an angry group to yell at an easy target, or to get popularity points for being seen to agree with the group. They see that everyone else is doing something, and they copy it. The original poster typically does not respond at all, because they are completely overwhelmed or scared off. Once a dog pile has been established, an apology from the original poster is less likely to be effective.” -XombieMike, Bloodstained Forums Rules.

Classic

  • “A dome and steepled solitude, where the stranger is lonely in the midst of a million of his race.” -Mark Twain (about New York)
  • “The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.” -Winston Churchill
  • “Any man under 30 who is not a liberal has no heart, and any man over 30 who is not a conservative has no brains.” –Winston Churchill (1874–1965 ), English Prime Minister
  • “You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.” -Winston Churchill
  • “To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.” -Paul R. Ehrlich
  • “Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.” -Dr. Seuss
  • “I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: 'O Lord, make my enemies ridiculous.' And God granted it.” -Voltaire
  • “To succeed in the world it is not enough to be stupid, you must also be well-mannered.” -Voltaire
  • “Strange as it seems, no amount of learning can cure stupidity, and higher education positively fortifies it.” -Stephen Vizinczey, An Innocent Millionaire
  • “I have noticed that the people who are late are often so much jollier than the people who have to wait for them.” –E. Verrall Lucas (1868–1938)
  • “Punctuality is the virtue of the bored.” –Evelyn Waugh (1903–1966), English novelist
  • “To err is human, but it feels divine.” –Mae West (1892–1980), Hollywood actress
  • “When they call the roll in the Senate, the senators do not know whether to answer 'present' or 'not guilty.'” –Theodore Roosevelt (1858–1919), U.S. President
  • “The trouble with Communism is the Communists, just as the trouble with Christianity is the Christians.” – H.L. Mencken (Life magazine, August 5, 1946)
  • “Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.” –Ronald J. Reagan (1911– ), U.S. president
  • “Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.” – Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy”
  • “A diplomat is a person who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.” –Caskie Stinnett, Out of the Red, 1960
  • “Each of Nature's organisms, when frightened or confused, reacts in a characteristic way: deer flee, blowfish swell up, and government emits pieces of paper.” –Bill Stone, Yachting, 1979
  • “Pessimism is only the name that men of weak nerves give to wisdom.” –Bernard De Voto (1897–1956), Mark Twain: The Ink of History
  • “The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.” –Bill Watterson, U.S. cartoonist, “Calvin and Hobbes”
  • “Inanimate objects are classified scientifically into three major categories–those that don't work, those that break down, and those that get lost.” –Russell Baker (1925– ), U.S. columnist
  • “In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.” –Jan L.A. van de Snepscheut (–1994), U.S. computer scientist/professor
  • “If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it.” –Linda Furney, U.S. politician
  • “Adam and Eve had many advantages, but the principal one was that they escaped teething.” –Mark Twain (1835-1910)
  • “Nature never makes any blunders; when she makes a fool she means it.” –Josh Billings (1818–1885), U.S. humorist
  • “When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up.” - C. S. Lewis
  • “We, the unwilling, led by the unknowing, have done so much, for so long, with so little, that we're capable of doing anything with nothing.” -Mother Theresa
  • “People who are brutally honest get more satisfaction out of the brutality than out of the honesty.” -Richard J. Needham
  • “If you're dumb, surround yourself with smart people. If you're smart, surround yourself with smart people that disagree with you.” -Issac Jaffey
  • “Those who are skilled in combat do not become angered, those who are skilled at winning do not become afraid. Thus the wise win before they fight, while the ignorant fight to win.” -Zhuge Liang
  • “The clever combatant imposes his will on the enemy, but does not allow the enemy's will to be imposed on him.” -Sun Tzu
  • “The only difference between reality and fiction, is that fiction needs to be credible.” - Mark Twain
  • “Understanding is a three edged sword: your side, their side, and the truth.” — J. Michael Straczynski
  • “The secret to creativity is to hide your sources.” - Albert Einstein
  • “Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.” -Albert Einstein, US (German-born) physicist (1879 - 1955)
  • “Advice is seldom welcome; and those who want it the most always like it the least.” -Basil, bhforum
  • “Victorious warriors win first and then go to war, while defeated warriors go to war first and then seek to win.” -Sun Tzu
  • “Human beings who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so” - Douglas Adams
  • “One of the surest ways to turn a believer into a non-believer is education.” -Guy P. Harrison
  • “Hell, there are no rules here–we're trying to accomplish something.” - Thomas Alva Edison
  • “We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.” -George Bernard Shaw
  • “The Man Who Does Not Read Has No Advantage Over the Man Who Cannot Read” -Mark Twain
  • “Dawn, the time when men of reason go to bed” - Ambrose Bierce
  • “He who fights with monsters should be careful lest he thereby become a monster. And if thou gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will also gaze into thee.” -Friedrich Nietzsche
  • “The only difference between reality and fiction is that fiction needs to be credible.” -Mark Twain
  • “The Democrats are dumb and the Republicans are stupid. The difference between dumb and stupid is dumb isn't funny, stupid is seriously funny.” - Lewis Black
  • “Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.” -Rick Cook
  • “A train station is where a train stops. A bus station is where a bus stops. On my desk I have a workstation.” - William Faulkner
  • “Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.” -Douglas Adams
  • “There is nothing which I dread so much as a division of the republic into two great parties, each arranged under its leader, and concerting measures in opposition to each other. This, in my humble apprehension, is to be dreaded as the greatest political evil under our Constitution.” – John Adams, Letter to Jonathan Jackson (2 October 1780), “The Works of John Adams”, vol 9, p.511
  • “Posthumous men-myself, for example-are not as well understood as timely ones, but we are listened to better. More precisely: we are never understood-hence our authority.” -Friedrich Nietzsche
  • “One will rarely err if extreme actions be ascribed to vanity, ordinary actions to habit, and mean actions to fear.” -Friedrich Nietzsche
  • “Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity,” -Hanlon's razor
  • “People who are brutally honest generally enjoy the brutality more than the honesty.” - Richard J. Needham
  • “The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.” -Mark Twain
  • “Good taste is the enemy of creativity.” -Pablo Picasso (Spanish Cubist painter 1881 - 1973)
  • “Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people.” -Eleanor Roosevelt
  • “to err is human; to forgive, divine” -Alexander Pope, “Essay on Criticism”
  • “The more I learn, the more I realize how much I don't know.” -Albert Einstein
  • “A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.”
  • “Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.” -Ronald Reagan
  • “People who are brutally honest get more satisfaction out of the brutality than out of the honesty.” -Richard J. Needham
  • “If you're dumb, surround yourself with smart people. If you're smart, surround yourself with smart people that disagree with you.” -Issac Jaffey
  • “I would rather see people be creative in ways I do not like than boring in ways I approve of.”
  • “It's better to enlarge the game than to restrict the players.” – Eric Wujcik
  • “There is nothing which I dread so much as a division of the republic into two great parties, each arranged under its leader, and concerting measures in opposition to each other. This, in my humble apprehension, is to be dreaded as the greatest political evil under our Constitution.” -John Adams, USA
  • “The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read.” -Mark Twain
  • “Gold is a relic of Julius Caesar, and interest is an invention of Satan.” -Thomas Alva Edison
  • “We will make electricity so cheap that only the rich will burn candles.” -Thomas Alva Edison
  • “There is no expedient to which a man will not resort to avoid the real labor of thinking.” -Sir Joshua Reynolds
  • “One of the great tragedies of mankind is that morality has been hijacked by religion.” -Arthur C. Clarke
  • “Magic's just science that we don't understand yet.” -Arthur C. Clarke
Theory is when nothing works, and everyone knows why.
Practice is when everything works, but nobody knows why.
In this room theory and practice is unified in perfect harmony,
Nothing works, and nobody knows why.

Literature

  • “And therefore education at the University mostly worked by the age-old method of putting a lot of young people in the vicinity of a lot of books and hoping that something would pass from one to the other, while the actual young people put themselves in the vicinity of inns and taverns for exactly the same reason.” - Terry Pratchett, Interesting Times
  • “I drank too much for a while. Then I tried to boss her around, which is always bad, but particularly bad for a creative person's spouse, because they can lose their gift, at least for a while. Kata tried to be what she thought was a good wife, and the gallery owner came over and screamed at me for two hours one day about how I was a patriarchal retrograde mastodon who didn't deserve her and belonged in a history museum with a spear up my butt.” -Professor X, Serrano Legacy
  • “If you can't say something nice, don't say nothin' at all!” -Thumper, from Disney's Bambi
  • “My father once told me, we have servants and machines in order that our will may be carried out beyond the reach of our own arms. Machines are more powerful than servants and more obedient and less rebellious, but machines have no judgment and will not remonstrate with us when our will is foolish, and will not disobey us when our will is evil. In times and places where people despise the gods, those most in need of servants have machines, or choose servants who will behave like machines. I believe this will continue until the gods stop laughing.” -from the God Whispering of Han Quin-jao (Enders World, Oscar Scott Card)
  • “The major problem—one of the major problems, for there are several—one of the many major problems with governing people is that of whom you get to do it; or rather of who manages to get people to let them do it to them. To summarize: it is a well-known fact that those people who most want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it. To summarize the summary: anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.” - Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe
  • “For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much—the wheel, New York, wars and so on—whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man—for precisely the same reasons.” - Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
  • “The problem with defending the purity of the English language is that English is about as pure as a cribhouse whore. We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary.” -James D. Nicoll
  • “Blagged? Speak English to me, Tony. I thought this country spawned the fucking language, and so far nobody seems to speak it.” -Avi, Snatch
  • “Behold, the Underminer! I'm always beneath you, but nothing is beneath me! I hereby declare war on peace and happiness! Soon, all will tremble before me!” -Underminer, The Incredibles
  • “Democracy is a system of organized distrust, where you distrust anyone with power over you.” -Leto II Atreides (God Emperor of Dune, by Frank Herbert)
  • “The downfall of democracy is the tyranny of the minority cloaked in the mask of the majority, where it is either overthrown by its own excesses or eaten away by bureaucracy. First, a Civil Service law masked in the lie that it is the only way to correct demagogic excesses and spoils systems. Then the accumulation of power in places the voters could not touch. And finally, aristocracy.” -Leto II Atreides (God Emperor of Dune, by Frank Herbert)
  • “Good morning sir. I'm so sorry to disturb you, but it appears to be morning. Very inconvenient I agree.” -Wakeup-bell, Dag
  • “You cannot pass! I am a servant of the Secret Fire, wielder of the flame of Anor. The dark fire will not avail you, flame of Udûn. Go back to the Shadow! YOU! SHALL NOT! PASS!” - Gandalf the Grey, The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
  • “But one thing about being dead is that it's finally given me a chance to catch up on my reading.” -Nahrmahn, safehold
  • “He took a deep breath, controlling the sudden spike of rage. And reminding himself, for perhaps the millionth time in his life, that if sheer righteous fury could accomplish anything worthwhile, wolverines would have inherited the galaxy long ago.” -W.E.B. Du Havel, Crown of Slaves, by David Weber
  • “Wait. Are you talking about the DEVIL DOGS?!” “Technically they're called: 'Fun-sized mobile agony and death dispensers.” -Girl Genious, castle heterodyne
  • “Funny thing about that… I was attending a Writer's Seminar with RA Salvatore and Drizzt inevitably came up by one of the rabid fan-bois. Mr. Salvatore paused, and then said (roughly; this was about 8 years ago) “sometimes, as a writer, you sign a contract because you need the money and because you want to write. I was finished with That Character after the Crystal Shard series. However, he proved to be very popular, and I had to pay the bills. Also, I was under contract. So I write about Him. Let me assure you though. If he didn't make me so much money, I would have killed Drizzt off a long time ago and been very happy about it. I HATE writing him.”” -Tamwulf, ppf
  • “The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?” -xterm, bash
  • “Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether they could, they didn't stop to think if they should.” -Ian Malcolm, JP
  • “It was one of the scenes with the T. rex where Steven came over to me during the filming and he says, 'Ariana, you hit such a level of panic and fear. What I see in your face in this scene, I was just wondering what are you drawing on? Were you really scared of a clown when you were three?—Wait! I don't want to know.' Then he walked away.” -Ariana Richards, about Steven Spielberg, Jurassic Park

Anime

  • “This is the student council. A short time ago, a serious disaster occurred on the fourth floor of the north building. As I'm sure you've guessed, it's Sagara. Due to an unfortunate accident, his poison gas has leaked. Please evacuate outside immediately.” -Student Council President, FMP
  • “Fear is freedom! Control is liberty! Contradiction is truth! That is the reality of this world!” -Lady Satsuki, Kill la Kill
  • “Since I entered the Recon Corps, all I get are surprises. It's not just Major Hanji. They're all weirdos. It's like a haven for freaks.” -Eren, Attack on Titan
  • '“For once, you're actually doing some work, so I thought I'd come to give my sympathies.” -Crusty to Lenesia
  • “I'd also recommend being succinct and grammatically correct. Nothing seems to irritate a developer more than a long, poorly worded, and poorly punctated e-mail. If it's not worth writing out clearly, it's not worth your time or theirs.” -Interview with developers
  • “I hate people who pick on weaker guys, but guys who don't defend themselves at all piss me off even more!” -Takamura Mamouro, Hajime No Ippo
  • “Kill everyone in your way and press on with brute strength. Now that's forward thinking.” -Alice-B-Rabbit, Pandora Hearts
  • “Once upon a time there was a traveller crouching in pain at the roadside. A man, who happened to be walking by sat next to the traveller before he could ask for help. The man lectured at length about having a healthy lifestyle in order to avoid sickness. Satisfied with his speech, the man stood up and left. The man's name is the United Mankind. Next a very beautiful woman approached the traveller with an inquisitive look. The traveller said 'Well, don't just stand there, help me.' The woman replied 'Do you want me to help you?' She then discussed at length the situation with the traveller until she fully understood the problem. And she nodded and left. Shortly after the woman brought all the doctors, nurses and staff of the closest hospital with her. The woman's name is the Humankind Empire Abh.” -A political allegory from planet Midgrat
  • “This show is a lot of nothing then some something but mostly incomprehensible. :3” -Guyman about Horizon in the Middle of Nowhere
  • “Pou, I'll tell you this much. You need to get to know better men.” “That's none of your buisness!” “Only then, will you become a better woman.” -Harry, Turn-A Gundam
  • “This is how God equalizes us. Her appearance was so beautiful, so He corrected it with a huge minus to her brain.” -Niwa Makoto, Denpa Onna to Seishun Otoko
  • “I am ashamed to have broken my promise. I am mortified it took more than an hour to defeat such a pathetic enemy.” -Kiroumaru, The Giant Hornets. Shinsekai Yori
  • “You killed my….!” -Chun Li, “Yes, yes. I killed your father. What is it with you women? I killed my father as well, and you don't hear me whining about it!” -Bison
  • “Though I devour the five lands and drink the three oceans dry, I am powerless against the sky, for I have neither wings, nor legs, nor hands. I am the world snake. My name is Jormungand.” -Jormungand
  • “Do you really think weapons will disappear from this world, Koko? If aerial weapons won't work, we'll just sell naval ones. If I can't sell ships, I'll just sell tanks. Guns. Swords. Machetes. If you ban steel, I'll sell wooden clubs. We're arms dealers, after all.” -Kasper, Jormungand
  • “You… even when compared to a demon, are one magnificent bastard.” -Araragi, about Oshino Meme, Bakemonogatari
  • “There's no single reason for war. But human history is about the struggle for existence. Without war, we'd probably be extinct by now.” -Amrou Ray, Gundam
  • “I think if we recruit serious people using normal methods, the cult will be very boring.” -Zesta, High Priest of the Church of Axis, worshipping the goddess of water, Aqua. Konosuba
  • “When it comes to brown bears, the females are more foul-tempered and scary. Just like humans, huh?” -Nihei Tetsuzou, Golden Kamuy
  • “Charisma as three elements. The nature of a hero or a prophet, the ability to simply make you feel good when you're around them, and the intelligence to eloquently talk about all sorts of things.” -Joji Saiga , Psycho-Pass
  • “Something has always bothered me, ever since I arrived here. Where is he hiding while he watches us and regulates the world? But I forgot a simple piece of psychology. Something any kid knows. There is nothing as boring as watching someone else play an RPG.” -Kirito to Kayaba, SAO
  • “You saying I should be like you, or being honest?” -Zaka “Hey, you're calling me a liar?” -Katara “I'm calling you an optimist, same thing basically.” -Zaka, Atlab
“Transmission from HQ.” -Com
“Read me the text.” -Spur
“Yes. Trample them. That's it.” -Com
“Well this is my first mission with Admiral Trife but I can see that his orders are nice and concise.” -Spur

RPG

  • “A MAGIC ITEM! - It's something, but Baator be damned if you can figure out what. It does radiate magic however.” -Magic Item!, pst
  • “Ah, I'd love to be a virgin to PS:T again…” -dragon wench, GBF
  • “There is nothing remotely like PS:T… and the biggest praise I can give PS:T is that I could not bring myself to finish it… I need it's end to be a mystery to be solved another time and I have started it like 4/5 times. I will finish it one day, but I just know the day I do, will be the day I stop playing for good! ” -Darth Gavinius, GBF
  • “The IWD games are classic style crpgs with solid story (but not without depth, they just don't showcase fake depth nonsense like BG2) and balanced combat, PST has an emphasize on roleplaying and story depth. Both IWDs and PST are great games on their own. The BG games have neither the balance of the IWD games nor the real story depth of PST (especially the BG2 story is depth faking nonsense), so I wouldn't rate them that high. For watching a let's play or playing after a walkthrough they might be better, but not for a real gaming experience.” -kmonster, GBF
  • “At this rate Low Tech will also cure cancer, settle the American healthcare debate and if you buy a copy Jesus will give you a kitten.” -ciaran_skye, sjg-forum
  • “Yeah, I seem to have taken the All Thumbs Flaw. And Mental Illness (Moderate), Mental Deficiency (Poor Concentration) and Resources 0. For this I get a small dog familiar and the ability to write Warhammer books. I hate my GM.” -SteveD, rpg.net
  • “Strange and bizarre things happen to you with alarming frequency. You are the one with whom demons will stop and chat. Magic items with disturbing properties will find their way to you. The only talking dog on 20th-century Earth will come to you with his problems. Dimensional gates sealed for centuries will crack open just so that you can be bathed in the energies released… or perhaps the entities on the other side will invite you to tea. Nothing lethal will happen to you, at least not immediately, and occasionally some weirdness will be beneficial. But most of the time it will be terribly, terribly inconvenient.” — “Weirdness Magnet” disadvantage from GURPS
  • “Speaking of the whole “ambushed while sleeping” thing: D&D further exacerbates the problem by requiring wizards/clerics to have slept/rested for a full 8 hours before they can get new spells. Why? Who knows? But it's in the rules that way. So not only do the fighter types freak out when something goes bump in the night, but the wizards and clerics put a pillow over their heads and say “NO! I want my spells, darn it, NO fighting tonight!” Best player moment was when our ranger led the midnight ambushers off on a merry chase through the woods to save the party the trouble of the combat.” -jdripley, ppf
  • “you're a DM, man. the only reason you roll dice is because you like the sound it makes.” -Beefmotron, reddit
  • “Funny, I haven't been drinking at all lately, yet it looks like the thread is approaching what I dub 'Si Mai Wang', a build I saw a few years ago about a Changeling Monk/Kensai that would attack with his junk for 10d12 damage or some such. Many lulz were had over that.”
  • “Things like Fast Healing and Regeneration fall exactly nowhere on the point scale. The guide is about creating ECL0 races, ultimately, and not about making another bad mistake like Savage Species.” -VoodooMike, d20
  • “I like to use what I call the 6yog approach. Apply a race's template to a six-year-old girl (6yog) and see if the adjustments make sense. Would a six-year-old half-orc girl be able to see in the dark? sure, that makes sense.. would she be more intimidating than her human counterpart? probably. Would she be able to wield a greataxe more easily? No, probably not, even if it were reduced in size to be more appropriate for her.” -VoodooMike, d20
  • “My rule of thumb: Before I consider any class too powerful to allow, I compare it to the cleric.” -Ishamael, d20
  • “Overpowered things are to be expected from the Book of Vile Furries.” -frankthedm, d20
  • “Lower levels arcane spells are usually a drag, but lower level psionic powers are often just higher ones waiting to be augmented.” -sonofzeal, gitpf
  • “Although I guess, as usual, core has most of the powerful stuff.” -Ormur, gitpf
Menoth “I'm right, you're wrong.”
Morrow “We could both be right, let's discuss this.”
Thamar “You're wrong because you are not me.”
Dhuna “Maybe you're right, but if you're wrong get it right next time round.”
Cyriss “The more like me you are, the closer to right you will be”
The Wyrm Ourorboros “If wrong then smash, If right then smash and eat”
Toruk “This is irrelevant”
“I knew we were in trouble, so I climbed up onto the top of the statue, dumped the whole bag of scorpions on Urur, and then jumped down on him with my spear pointed right at the top of his head.”
“Wow! That's one bold move! Did it work?”
“Not a bit. Broke my leg in two places and had to teleport before he bit me in half.”
-Sanssasplash the Slippery, Orren adventurer, talking to a friend (World Tree)

Game

  • “You are Ugly. There is just no other word for it, unless you consider hideous a better word. Children flee from you in terror and even the kindest of souls finds it difficult to stand your presence for long. As a result of your countenance, you take an extreme penalty to Beauty (-6), but, because you have to defend yourself from frequent attacks, you gain a bonus to Strength (+2), Dexterity (+2) and all of your Combat Skills (+1).” -“Beat With An Ugly Stick” Arcanum
  • “If so, then death itself is no longer sacred. Feh. In my day, mortals remained so and knew their place… now everybody and their mother has the disease of eternal boredom. We should have a gathering and invite everyone across the planes and offer them immortal contracts… it would save all of us hard-working Baatezu a great deal of effort. Feh.” -Fhjull Forked-Tongue
  • “Ok, I've just about had my FILL of riddle asking, quest assigning, insult throwing, pun hurling, hostage taking, iron mongering, smart arsed fools, freaks, and felons that continually test my will, mettle, strength, intelligence, and most of all, patience! If you've got a straight answer ANYWHERE in that bent little head of yours, I want to hear it pretty damn quick or I'm going to take a large blunt object roughly the size of Elminster AND his hat, and stuff it lengthwise into a crevice of your being so seldom seen that even the denizens of the nine hells themselves wouldn't touch it with a twenty-foot rusty halberd! Have I MADE myself perfectly CLEAR?!” -Protagonist to Portalbenderwinder, BG1
  • “Huh… Welcome to the middle of nowhere. Population: us.” -Selmie, Zelda BotW
  • “Destiny is a shrewd merchant, but like all merchants, its palm can be greased. You should seek out Agamo, Daeva of Music. He's the source of most of the grease in this city, after all.” -Grimhild, Daeva of Intuition, Aion
  • “There should be a law requiring that all space sims that come out from now on have Freelancer's controls. There's no excuse for releasing a game that requires expensive peripherals and 60 separate buttons for targeting controls when it's been proven that not only can a game work without them, it'll actually work better. Yeah, I'm looking at you, Egosoft.”
  • “I never got into the X games. I found them to be unnecessarily complex and obfuscated. I wanted to like them, I really really did, but I couldn't even complete the early intro missions because they wanted me to do something that they could not be bothered to explain how to do. I spent an hour trying to figure it out and then gave up the game in disgust.”
  • “No, there is nothing quite like Freelancer. It makes me sad. Most of the really popular space sims are heavier on the sim than the action and fun. I find them to be a bit too boring generally. And Eve, as you have seen, is a bit too hands off to fill that niche.”
  • “Look at JE Sawyer, for example. I think that he's a talented designer, who has a lot of great ideas, but, unfortunately, the only way to share his ideas with the players is to make an unofficial mod in his spare time. Now, THAT is sad. It's a true fucking testament to what the industry has become.” -Vault Dweller, RPGCodex
  • “Grandiose statements, cryptic warnings, blind fanboyisim and an opinion that leaves no room for argument and will never be dissuaded. Welcome to the forums, you'll go far in this place my boy, you'll go far!” -Gurkog, obsidian forums
  • “The people who are a part of the “Fallout Community” have been refined and distilled over time into glittering gems of hatred.” -Gurkog, obsidian forums
  • “Do people mistake MH for an rpg now?” ”… It has always been an RPG“ “The best RPG of 2018 in fact. It won the award. The term is meaningless now.”
  • “If the devs want me to squash their bugs for them, I need to get paid honestly” -purifyweirdsoul, bs-disco, about hk
  • “Women where the reason I became a monk - and, ah, the reason I switched back.” -Morte, PST
Gamers in 1978: “The boss is super hard, guess I will change the code.”
Gamers in 1998: “The boss is super hard, does anyone have any good strategy to beat it?”
Gamers in 2018: “The boss is super hard, so the developers are sadists”
BACK OF THE BOX QUOTE: Losing is fun!
TYPE OF GAME: Sadistic alcoholic dwarf simulator
-Dwarf Fortress

MMO

  • “It's long been known that people are less inhibited over the phone than in person, and people are now aware that they are less inhibited in email than on the phone, and I believe they are less inhibited in muds than on email. This leads to an interesting conclusion for mud design, penalties won't solve your player-killer problem. Helping them gain empathy will.” -Raph Koster
  • “If you think I am saying that typical RPG combat sucks as a game, you’re right.” -Raph Koster
  • “I get asked this question all the time. In fact, now that I do consultancy from time to time, it’s not unusual for a company to come to me and say 'can you put in crafting like SWG? Our players say it was the best ever!' Usually, they have actually, you know, designed their game already, or even built it. And I have to tell them, 'No. You build your game around it, not the other way around.' ” -Raph Koster / Holocron, SWG
  • “A sad fact about you players, as a whole: you only do what you are rewarded for. You will do something less fun if you see a carrot at the end of the stick, and you will ignore something more fun if it doesn’t give you a 'ding' or an XP reward or a title.” – Raph Koster / Holocron (2002/11/26), SWG
  • “SWG is the game where I learned players KNOW what they hate but only THINK they know what they want” -Corwyn Kalenda, SWG
  • “PUGs are a pain. But the trick is learning how to work through pain. And you will be all the stronger for the job.” -Nicolai, Psychologist/MMO http://nicolaigrunnet.blogspot.no/2011/09/mmos-and-anxiety.html
  • “Game designing is hard work […] but everything worth doing is hard work. The important thing is to do it well, and to have fun while you're doing it.” -David “Zeb” Cook
  • “I do not know where family doctors acquired illegibly perplexing handwriting; nevertheless, extraordinary pharmaceutical intellectuality counterbalancing indecipherability transcendentalizes intercommunication's incomprehensibleness.” -Sehk, Aionf
  • “Yeah the wizard/witch default outfits are a damn travesty. Unless you go cash shop you're gonna look like a weirdo in a bathrobe, sweatpants and slippers.” -The_Dire_Crow, bdo
  • “All this for me. While I don't RP I always want to play 'the hero I would want to be in the game.' That hero doesn't have t1ts and neither do I. That said I get the whole mangina thing. I've tried, I really have! I love the speed of the tamer after playing a warrior and zerker but I don't want to be a 12 year old girl or have a pet. I would however want to be a bad ass swordsman.” -Guzrog, bdo

FF14

  • [NOVICE]Kinn Soran@Ultros: why did they have to end the event? didn't they know i was procrastinating? they should have delayed it for me!
  • “welcome to ultros Novice network. vaccinate your crotch goblins. and we all gay here.” -Lexy Raptor ff14-nn-u
  • “I firmly believe anyone can learn, on their own, to play a job averagely/decently if they cared enough to do so.” -Miste, ff14f
  • “Open Skill systems are notoriously hard to balance, and without hitting the unicorn mark for diversity, strength, and limitation, cause more problems than they're worth most of the time. While they are my favorite sort of system as they allow for incredible build diversity, “Build Diversity” is often just a label for “wrong choice”, and it's no surprise we see even the more streamlined versions of these systems fade away with time. (Talent Trees are the most contemporary comparison.)” -Kabooa, ff14f
  • “We are the deadly, dastardly, and dictionally devilish! Quail before the Dainty Demolishers!” -ff14
  • “Fun fact about most communities: The people that show up for patches usually bring the toxicity while the long-term players avoid it.” -Smashy McFace, ff14-ultros-disc
  • “Remember to /pet your local lalafels. It helps them grow big and strong! Then they'll be more filling when the lean years come.” -Renette Sagnuax, ff14 UltrosNN
  • “Nope. It's the 'mean people suck' coalition throwing their weight around. Remember: Disagreement is harassment, and feeling annoyed that you have to do most of the work is a hate crime.” -Galgarion, ff14f
  • “You know the evilness that lurks out there, they destroy PUG's, instigate TPK's like they're going out of style, make primals so much harder to bring down. You know them as fate-runners. No strategy, no thinking, no waiting for buffs, scream at you when they die because of their stupidity. You can always tell a fate-runner in a dungeon, raid, or instance. When I try to give some advice, they don't want it. My LS has managed to rehab some runners, but we just shake our heads at the greater majority of them.” -Stormraven, ff14f
  • “Doing Stone Vigil in the duty finder was…a nightmare. I think it was best described as the Dragoon thought he was a tank and the Paladin thought he was a DPS, the Summoner was at least sensible. Good news is, we didn't fail, but we died, a lot.” -Saefinn, ff14f
  • “Oh, and the worst horror story is GETTING THE WHM TO LV50. It's the slowest class to lvup, I'm doing THM now and I got 16 levels in 1-2 hours.” -YanDere, ff14f
  • “Why, I'll be- just the sight o'your harvest has me mouth waterin'. You've an eye fer apple-pickin', my friend. I've a son just around your age. What say you settle down here when you've had enough questin' fer glory?” -Fawkes, ff14
[NOVICE]Erebeth Umara: My friend always used to say there are three types of levelling strategies
[NOVICE]Erebeth Umara: 1. Those that are impossible to actually follow IRL.
[NOVICE]Erebeth Umara: 2. Those that work whilst sober.
[NOVICE]Erebeth Umara: 3. Those that work while stoned out of your gourd.
[NOVICE]Erebeth Umara: I assume PotD falls under 1 & 3.
Average duty finder PUG-
'Stonerbro Potsmoke' The slowmo tank “I gotsta hit dis bong real quick bro!”
'Secksy Catbutts' The 13 y/o boy who plays the anorexic cat girl, and runs around like he forgot to take his ADHD meds “Gay! Suck! Fail! Penis!”
'Catbutt Secks' The counter part to the last titstick
The Catbutt twins will Leeroy Jenkins a room before Stonerbro even realizes he's been moved into a dungeon, much less added to a party.
Catbutt twins are now running around in a circle shouting “Gay! Tank Sucks! LOL! Penis!”
Stonerbro is following them Benny Hill style “Stop movin bro! I can't move and attack bro!”
I get frustrated chain cast heals till I get all agro and just stand in one spot healing myself while Stonerbro and the Catbutt twins dps everything down.
Catbutt Twins- “Lol! CNJ Suck! Tank Fail! Penis!”
Stonerbro- “wtf bro! lemme tank bro!”
“I prefer to tank, but every once in a while, I'll heal or dps. Frankly, I play all the classes because if there's one thing I've learned from trying to teach other people the mechanics of a class, it's that you never want to hear the words “You don't play this, so you don't know”, so yeah, I play everything. I don't know if I have a SINGLE horror story, but just a list of things that I, as a tank, when healing, I cringe and cry when I see it happen. Here are a few.

1. The tank throws on a defensive debuff before pulling. I hate this. I’ve already thrown out stoneskin or Adloquium, why do they need to waste 3-5 seconds of Rampart or Foresight for?

2. Flash, or lack there of. This one is just common though, so common, I’ve started doing what many healers do, no heal until a little bit of aoe agro gets established. MANY a tank hath fallen to the mercy of my wrath. What’s great is in most of these cases, the dps pick up at least two mobs, and I can easily heal through the rest.

3. The tank doesn’t move out of orange cones and circles. An occasional one, that’s fine. But if you’re going to yank together two groups of enemies and stand in the fire while I’m level synced, you’re about to learn all about how I think you’re an idiot. I expect to see movement, or your butt is hitting the pavement.

4. Melee DPS who do the same thing as above. Again, an occasional accident, I’ll forgive, but if EVERY Aqueous Discharge hits you, then I’m probably gonna finish off your last sliver of HP.

5. Range DPS that stand in melee and also do the same thing as above. You are a ranged attacker. There is no reason you should be able to AA the mobs with your staff… back up! If the melee dps are squishy, then your cloth covered rear is gonna be a great big pin cushion.

Generally speaking though, I prepare for these problems. In higher content, I run WHM, where 9 times out of 10, the people I am playing with are a bit more competent. Lower stuff, I go SCH, because if nothing else, I know my fairy can at least take a hit, and hey, 2 healers for the price of one.”

Misc

  • “Jeremy X's notions concerning 'the laws of war' and the proper rules governing the treatment of POWs would have met with the approval of Attila the Hun.” -Torch of Freedom, David Weber
  • “Especially the predator that looked like a ten-meter long cross between a lobster and a manta ray, and whose dietary preferences seemed to exclude rocks but absolutely nothing else.” -Torch of Freedom, David Weber
  • “Keep it up, and I'll customize your asses but leave your brain to enjoy it.” -?, Martian Successor Nadesico
  • “Whatever else anyone might say about Manticorans, they don't 'run scared' worth a damn.” -Admiral Thomas Theisman, Republic of Haven Navy
  • “Naked girls keep falling from the sky. What is wrong with this country…?” -Tokugawa Sen, samurai girls
  • “All right, well how about you think of it like this? Unfortunately, a psychotic virgin, starved for love and likely to fall for anyone who would be a little nice to her, has set her eyes on you. You are really unlucky. Blame it on your habitual actions. If you are to say something stupid like, 'Give me a bit of time to consider,' I will despise you, Araragi-kun. Don't let a girl feel shameful.” -Hitagi Senjogahara
  • “If I wore a rabbit's fur, I'm sure you'd fall into my trap instantly.” -Horo
  • “Males are all foolish, jealous creatures. And female are fools who are pleased by that. Anywhere you look, everyone's a fool anyway.” -Sage Wolf Horo
  • “Not only do I have beauty, brains and a tail of finest fur, my ears and eyes are sensitive too.” -Sage Wolf Horo
  • “Do you know what your sin is, Mal?” “Ah, hell, I'm a fan of all seven. But right now, I'd have to go with Wrath!” -FireFly/Serenity
  • “Love is like a rhino, short-sighted and hasty; if it cannot find a way, it will make a way.” —Femeref adage, mtg
  • “*Sigh* I guess stupidity and ignorance never goes out of style” -Carth, kotor1
  • “Emergency Medical Services Rule #1: Air goes in and out, blood goes round and round. Any variation of this is a problem.”
  • “Lang did not cry and beg for his life. That was because he lost consciousness at the moment he was taken from his prison and didn't recover consciousness until the very moment of his execution.”
  • “There's something I'd like to ask, Chief Minister of Military Affairs.” -Admiral Bittenfeld “Let's hear it, Admiral Bittenfeld. But I ask that you make it succinct and logically organized.” -High Admiral Oberstein
  • “LIME Anime wishes to thank all those fans who tortured themselves by watching this show! We are happy that you enjoyed watching it as much as we hated subbing it. Seriously, couldn't you have watched a better show? LoLz!!!” -Okusama Wa Joshikousei
  • “Do all Japanese people get nosebleeds whenever they are turned on or is it just their males? Man that would really suck. As if sex wasn't messy enough already without profusely bleeding all over each other and probably all over the bed too. I guess they don't use white linens in Japan. Are they red or brown or do they just make them black or something?” -sandor, bakabt
  • “Thank you for nothing, you useless reptile.” -hickup, HTTY-Dragon
  • “No one just 'gets' as good as you do, especially not you.”-hickup, HTTY-Dragon
  • “Ta-ta-da, we're dead.”-hickup, HTTY-Dragon
  • “you've never seen a more wretched hive of scum and villany” -sw ?
  • “When Ikaruga becomes 'painfully easy' to anyone, that's when it's time to get a girlfriend.” -GoldsteinsBook, youtube
No, Moslems don't believe that Jesus was the messiah.

Think of it like a movie. The Torah is the first one, and the New Testament is the sequel. Then the Qu'ran comes out, and it retcons the last one like it never happened. There's still Jesus, but he's not the main character anymore, and the messiah hasn't shown up yet.

Jews like the first movie but ignored the sequels, Christians think you need to watch the first two, but the third movie doesn't count, Moslems think the third one was the best, and Mormons liked the second one so much they started writing fanfiction that doesn't fit ANY of the series canon.

-RandomFerret

TF

  • “A good strategist is half psychologist and half sadist. And I was the best.” -Overlord, Last Stand of the Wreckers
  • “Revenge, soon. Anticipation, high. Venegance, good!” -Omega Supreme
  • “Talk, excessive. Time, limited.” -Omega Supreme
  • “Sarcasm, not appreciated.” -Omega Supreme
  • “Situation, irreversible. Destruction, innevetable.” -Omega Supreme
  • “I'll say hello to Prime for you, Megatron. Happy landing!” -Mirage, as he hops out of the spaceship he just sabotaged, thus ruining Megatrons plans.
  • “Any last words?” -Megatron “None you'd wanna hear, Megatron!” -Optimus Prime
  • “Your knowledge is only overshadowed by your stupidity, Starscream.” -Megatron
  • “And we got to get this oversized shopping-center in the air, now!” -Galvatron, about Scropenock

joneirik/quotes.1687022680.txt.gz · Last modified: 2023/06/17 11:24 by joneirik